Lost

I left this world
only to find myself alone
the people I care about now gone
my friends or the people that
posed as such they too have left
so I devoted my life
To life
no god or goddess
no underworld powers
just to being alive
now I find I have a second chance
still afraid of getting hurt
losing out on that chance
as I write these words
I cant take it anymore
torn between friends, family or my dreams
the irony of it is
all three make me happy
I close my eyes
and I wish a dream
where when I sleep
I will be happy
but as I sleep all I see
is black night and black at day
its what I see in my heart
so lost and alone
I fear losing anymore
in doing so I loose myself
I lost my dreams
I lost my life
I lost being happy 
I gained being alone