The journey starts when you’re born, Finite flesh, eternal soul,
Battle within, one of old, Light and dark, for you to hold.
Footsteps on this earthly land, Don’t forget it’s in your hands,
Choices made define your goal, Life’s deeds on your soul.
What you give, you will receive, What you emanate you will perceive,
What you cooked, one day you’ll eat, Crucified yourself, hands and feet.
All you got you did deserve, Perpetual victim perpetrators serve,
Your red hands, your misery, Look behind, your knife you’ll see.
Heaven, hell for you to make, Remember this imposter’s fake,
I told you once, I’ll tell you twice, Choice is yours, wrong or right.
Live in dark, live in light, Swim with sharks, blissful flight,
From where you run, from who you hide, Look within, yourself you’ll find.
Sub conscious program you must unhook, Here and now, soul must look,
Shadow self you must complete, Balance greets when opposites meet.
Thoughts alone don’t make it so, With actions and words in tandem go,
Self belief fuels the path you make, No one else your trail can take
Embrace hardship and the pain, Perception corrected footsteps gained,
Lessons learnt and now you know, That you were your greatest foe.
Illusions feint the mind on the outer, Reality within, soul is no doubter,
Your Light will shine for all to see, From the source of all you’ll be.
Are you who you are meant to be, Timelines, phase, duality,
Fractals, holograms, densities, Shades of rhythm, you and me.
In a list
A contest entry
- To be a poet is to think in rhyme to be a great poet is to question as philosophers do by Craven Rosewood.
341 points, ended May 8, 16 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - SPIRITUAL POETS by Pisces rainbow.
1050 points, ended May 18, 14 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Options... by Your-Little-Doll.
360 points, ended July 21, 10 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 30 of 30
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One more thing
I have posted a similar write..."Search for Myself"...check it out -
A True Poetry Read
I'm giving a standing ovation, yelling BRAVO...Bravo. This is my absolute favorite piece so far from you. I loved the language and flow. The rhyme was consistent for the most part, but there seemed to be two rhyme patterns. The transition from one to the other caused a stutter, or back up and re-read to correct the change. This occurs twice in the read.
The journey starts when you’re born, Finite flesh, eternal soul,
Battle within, one of old, Light and dark, for you to hold.
Footsteps on this earthly land, Don’t forget it’s in your hands,
Choices made define your goal, Life’s deeds on your soul.
What you give, you will receive, What you emanate you will perceive,
What you cooked, one day you’ll eat, Crucified yourself, hands and feet.Live in dark, live in light, Swim with sharks, blissful flight,
From where you run, from who you hide, Look within, yourself you’ll find.
Sub conscious program you must unhook, Here and now, soul must look,
Shadow self you must complete, Balance greets when opposites meet.
Just an observation...maybe that was your intent.
This is my favorite line..."Live in dark, live in light, Swim with sharks, blissful flight,
From where you run, from who you hide, Look within, yourself you’ll find". It truly amazes me that it takes so long for people to look within...we live in a world of finger pointers. It's far easier to blame it on the next person, or the goverment, or our partner or the weather. I spent the majority of my life with eyes shut to consequence, in total denial of any character defects I may have had. It wasn't until a couple of years ago when it hit me...maybe all those people pointing their finger at me...maybe what they had to say, actually held merit. A very tough cookie to swallow. It gets to the point where the pain becomes to much to bare...so change and accept or else. You described that perfectly here. Your reality of "you reap what you sow" , not only evident in this piece, but in Yello Brick as well tells me much about your past. We only learn that lesson usually the hard way...I may be wrong and if so...good for you.I loved this as well...
"Thoughts alone don’t make it so, With actions and words in tandem go,
Self belief fuels the path you make, No one else your trail can take"If thoughts could make it so...God gave us free will..to act, not think. He says yes to our pain, yes to our happiness, he is a yes man...he will not stop us...It is up to us to stop and say hey somethings not quite right here.
Your Light will shine for all to see, From the source of all you’ll be ...what a beautiful statement of truth. Who are we not to shine...we were created to be magnificant and so we shall be...if we stay out of our own way...(speaking from experience.).
All in all I love this beautifully painted picture created with your perfectly arranged words.
Thanks for clarity on personification...I will try!
Nevadapoet
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Hello Nevadapoet.
First of all thank you for reading and commenting on this poem. I am glad to read that you liked this piece. Regarding the rhythm, there will be changes within the overall defined structure. This piece was first written to a set number of beats per minute, but there are internal fluctuations to the rhythm, but not overall like in beats (drums, tabla, etc). I liken rhyme to music, so within the overall strict structure, there will be internal changes; often my musical side will come through in rhyme, well at least I can tell, hahaha.
I would rather not comment on people and when they look within or not, they have their own path, and will do it when it is time, shall say no more. Those who said things to you; before someone can say something about someone else and it be taken 100 % they should really know themselves, for they are not true mirrors, and they deflect and project themselves onto others, notably the shadow self, as well as tainted descriptions of the other, amongst other things.
As for observations on me, that is one of the valid observations, for it is based on you can't talk about what you have never been through, which would then mean judging by one of my other pieces that I am actually The One Prime Creator, or heaven forbid, a pompous poet, ahahhaha. On a serious note, it is one of the threads within my garment. But like any written piece, if you have walked a similar path, you will recognise the scenery, and all writes are from within, mind and heart, but soul above all else. And the better you know yourself, the better you can sense things that you yourself have never been through.
Once again I am glad to read that you liked this piece. You are welcome pertaining to the clarity on personification and I shall check out "Search for Myself" soon.
My regards.
Edit: I needed to elaborate something.
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I agree with most of the statements, within this beautifully rhymed and lovely piece. It was well thought out and penned with a clear mind and open heart. I say most, because well, we are different people.
There is nothing wrong with being different, feeling and believing differently. So long as we agree in harming no one in the process, then lead on. I would also pose the same question storiesuntold posed. How do we help those so left behind? It's rare that we have the opportunity to correct the mistakes that bad parenting can do to a young and impressionable child. You have given me much inspiration and food for thought, and I thank you for this lovely entry in my contest.
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Hello Hetha.
First of all thank you for reading and commenting on this piece. I am glad to read that you found it had some positives within it. Secondly I have no problem with people being different, and various extrapolations from that. Thirdly; I give no generic reply to those left behind, for each situation is unique, and thus each attempted 'answer' is as different as the people, hahaha. You are welcome pertaining to me entering your contest. Many thanks for reading, and your comment.
My regards.
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Beautiful write
I often wonder though where this is aplied to children so untaught by their parents and often abused .How do they follow this when they were never taught to begin with the right way only the srong how do we ehlp those so left behind -
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Hello Storiesuntold. Thank you for reading and commenting on this piece, again, hahaha. The questions you pose are too long to submit speculations, etc, on in here. My regards.
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Definitely fits the boundaries of the contest, and a well written piece also. You have a good sense of rhyme and meter and at no point did you sacrifice the clarity of the piece for the sake of rhyme. A good piece. To be completely honest though because its a prewrite and has already won several metals Its probably not going to make it into the finalists unless the rest of the poems suck hard core. Sorry, but good luck and thanks for entering.
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Thanks for entering
This is an amazing poem.
"All you got you did deserve, Perpetual victim perpetrators serve,
Your red hands, your misery, Look behind, your knife you’ll see."
amazing lines
good luck^^ -
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Hello Your-Little-Doll. Thank you for reading and commenting on this piece. I am glad to read that you found it an amazing poem. Also thank you for awarding me the Bronze Trophy in your contest. My regards.
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quite different it is
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Hello Amarantine Lover. Thank you reading and commenting on this piece. My regards.
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This is something special!
Really different, well thought out and flows perfectly!
Well done!
Trent -
Excellent work here
I say bravo this is something that should be put on posterboards for all to read .Keep up the great work
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Hello Storiesuntold. Thank you for reading and commenting on this piece. Am glad that you found this excellent work My regards.
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'Choices made define your goal' - SO TRUE!!!!!!
actually the entire write was superb!
You have made a statement here that I have always believed: we are the masters (or mistresses) of our own destiny and the fact that we can choose to become what and who we are is phenomenal! Through hardships we learn, through light we learn, through everything around us we learn and we continue to grow - you have managed to capture that essence in its entirety here and I commend you for this!
congrats on the bronze and silver - exceptional piece that I cannot praise higher than giving it three claps (despite the fact that I would prefer to give it 10 at least!)
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Hello Tattboyspet.
Thank you very much for your kind words and compliments regarding this piece. I am glad to read that some or all resonated within you, and some really caught you. From what you have said you have, in my humble opinion, a healthy attitude and insight. And the fact you would like to give this piece at least ten claps, shows you are wise as well, hahahaa.
My regards.
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I would love to see a gold trophy on this spiritual and philosophical masterpiece ... maybe I will have to host a special contest just for you ...
this is one of the rare poems where I had the impression that it was "myself speaking to myself" - or rather "my SELF speaking to my self" ... you know that kind of feeling as if your innermost soul has just sent you a message ...
this is one of those gems ...
thank you,
maa
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Hello Maa.
This is a very special poem to me. I do know what you mean about SELF talking to you, absolutely do. Thank you very much for reading this poem, I did believe when we first interacted, that you would like this poem a lot. You are more than welcome maa, and I am very glad that you loved it and consider it a gem, and a masterpiece, very kind of you.
My regards.
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Wow! This is a thought provoking and deep write. It is true that we alone are responsible for all the choices we make in life, good or bad. There is so much truth in your words here and you have written this very well. Nice job! Congratulations on the trophies. They are well deserved! Blessings, Patty
. Rewarded 6
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Hello Pathwee. Thank you for your kind words, and I am glad that you found my words much truth in my words. And I very glad that you found this piece thought provoking and deep.
My regards.
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I am happy to read this poem
and i am very happy that you have enetered my contest -
Congrats on the well-deserved trophies on this! Love your wording - full of depth and insight on the human soul. I liked all of your wording, but especially,
'Thoughts alone don’t make it so, With actions and words in tandem go,
Self belief fuels the path you make, No one else your trail can take'....no one else can walk your path for you, as they don't have the thoughts and influences that made you go the direction you went in the first place. And unless you act on your thoughts - they will always just be thoughts, nothing else.
Very well done!!
best wishes
. Rewarded 8
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Hello Aboomer.
Thank you very much for your kind words and compliments. What you say is very true, and not just the words you quoted, ahahaha. Unless thoughts are acted on, then what good are they? Regarding the path that we walk, what you say is very true; no two people have the same strengths and same weaknesses so our path to whatever a person's own belief is, heaven, density, etc, etc, is something we walk alone.
Once again though, thank you very much indeed.
My regards.
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absolutely what I was looking for.
this is commonsense.
brilliant wisdom.
God bless...
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you indeed are connected to your light within. this is wisdom, this is why we are here, brilliant. would you mind if I put you on my favorites? by the way excellently written BRAVO. you are indeed blessed...
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So much wisdom. I loved the poem as a picture and for a first attemt this is absolutely amazing!!!
Great job here! Thank you for your lovely enry!
Becks -
Hello Craven Rosewood, your words mean a lot to me. As for not stating which topic, my apologies; topic 1. Why am I here? Because I chose to take the journey (again). My own purpose here? Spiritual evolution. Why are others here? To show me where I am flawed, where I can do better, to show me myself. It's a lot more than that obviously, but this is no place to write a poem, hahaha.
Once again though, many thanks for the kind words.
Regards. -
i don't know what to say.. the poem was beautiful
You were writing(put your pre-write) on topic three right? Other than that I've no questions. amazing job. -
Wow.. This was really good! I am in shock really.. You have done a beautiful job! well done! and best of luck!
Angel
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