She sat contemplating the emptiness
The plate of life eaten
Its spaghetti strands of fun
Made a mess upon my cold dead shirt
She laughed: Sighed a song of the food of life
Wept: With a hearty tale of forgiveness
Oh heavens gate upon unto me
She sat eating her lunch as the pasta slipped away
Down an endless chasm of hell
Burned in the acids of a diseased pit
Full of the stench of forgotten dreams
Where only this morning milk rotted in a cornflake
And a sweet temptation lay untempting
And now should a great sound come unto the darkness
Believe it is through an ingestion of that
Which squirms in thy talking place like many snakes
And slithers down thy gullet slippery: like eels...
Ground, mashed, sucked to oblivion
Wherein only the acids lie burning and bubbling
As a volcano to erupt
She laughed: And sipped her orange juice
That disappeared from the view of the world
To put out a nonexistent flame that burned
Holes in the lining
Burning Heart: Is this not love I feel
Be it a warm fuzzy and I know it is real
She sighed: Air to escape its prison trapped within volcanic pain
up... up... up...
Past the talking place where tongue lays flat and cold
Begins to ripple with anticipation clinging to the roof
As a great wind doth blow through its caverns to the outside world
Delivering a stench of rotten meat
Unto the noses of the unforgiving gentry
For many 'twas an injustice
That such a place where knowledge is spoken to the world
Should also house a dreadful stench as this
She laughed: Apologies fell upon deaf ears
Politely eyebrows raised hiding inner contempt
Knowing they too would one day face this
A contest entry
- What is Unwritten? by Sprite.
1000 points, ended May 4, 2008, 15 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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I love the poem. Very vivid. Thanks for writing.
~ Joyce
PS. "...Oh heavens gate upon unto me" should be "Oh, heaven's gate OPEN unto me??"

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I love the subject. Very creative. You make eating sound so treacherous and, in todays chemical laden world, maybe it is! I especially like the line about it feeling like love. Cute.
I would have preferred it to have begun, "She sat" or sitting." Starting out with "and" is a weaker way of starting. The first line is that important. It sets the poem up for the reader (and their opinions of how the rest of the poem will be. Line 6: upon or unto but both seems awkward. Seems that you exceeded the 40 line limit as it stands (fixable.)
Thanks for entering. ~ Joyce -
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I have made a few changes. Thanks for the advice.
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