'It will not fit!" Prince Charming yelled, "your stinking foot's too wide,
If I had feet just half as foul, I'd find some place to hide!
My arms and legs are aching and my back is getting stiffer,
And I'm losing count of feet I've tried to stuff into this slipper!
She should have left her bra instead, that would have been much kinder,
To make this hands-on exercise a lovely way to find her!"
"Do not despair, " his butler said, "You'll triumph in this venture,
Be thankful that she left her shoe, it could have been her denture!"
The butler then looked up to see the beautiful Snow White.
Who'd been working late at Disneyland, and missed the ball last night.
If you can get that slipper on," he whispered with a smirk,
You'll win the greatest lover to have ever chased a skirt."
Snow White responded angrily, "He's useless as a lover!
I've had no luck with seven dwarfs, why should I want another?"
He has no brain between his ears, it's one huge vacant space!
Who else would choose his future wife and not recall her face?"
And then there was a flash of light, a blooming cloud of smoke.
A husky voice came from that cloud and to Prince Charming spoke.
"I'm sorry I must interrupt this most befitting scene,
Take my advice, release that foot, you don't know where it's been!"
"I am your Fairy Godmother, or rather her assistant.
I didn't want to come here, but the old bat was insistent!"
Then as the smoke began to clear the strangest form appeared,
A cross-eyed fairy came in view, with hairy legs and beard!
"You have no chance" Prince Charming scoffed, "Your foot looks like a kipper,
With bunions and those blackened nails, it won't fit in this slipper!
Explain yourself, I warn you now, you'll suffer if you fail.
To justify and verify your hairy-fairy tale!"
"My boss told me to tell you that you're seeking Cinderella,
A stunning young transvestite and a really lovely fella.
He has two ugly sisters who in truth are Cindy's brothers,
And his father is his mother. We're not sure about the others!"
And so Prince Charming's search was done, since he now knew the name.
But with that knowledge came the truth and nothing was the same!
The tingle of the chase was gone, the flame of passion dead.
Perhaps he'd have an early night and wash his hair instead!
A contest entry
- Twisted Fairy Tales by Hope Angel.
450 points, ended June 7, 2008, 7 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
have you ever felt this way
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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I love it.
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This is great. Very creative. I loved it. Thanks for entering
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LOL I think this has been the most enjoyable read of the night for me. Good luck in the contest, it is certainly a twisted fairy tale!
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Oh my I laughed until tears came you have talent out your toes. oh oh oh too funny.
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Absolutely hilarious!!!
"My boss told me to tell you that you're seeking Cinderella,
A stunning young transvestite and a really lovely fella.
He has two ugly sisters who in truth are Cindy's brothers,
And his father is his mother. We're not sure about the others!"
"Perhaps he'd have an early night and wash his hair instead!"
You are so super talented with rhyming and vocabulary!! The humor is an added bonus too! I laughed so hard! This is so much more than a twisted fairy tale, its completely bent and knotted up!! Well done, Bravo!!!
Good luck in the contest!!
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haha! this made me laugh! i loved it so much! you really have a way with words and making them come to life! This is FLAWLESS! Despite my own entry in this competetion, i hope this places! It deserves to! Good luck!
PrincessBubblegum
xxx
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awesome! love teh transvestite part XD
" not sure about the others!" <---sweet!
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Incredible
What a great twisted fairy tale. Wonderful wry humor. Great work!
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