On loving you, soft textures come to mind
and stamens' touch in fingered firmness
finds its flowerhead -- a dream of white
in aromatic memories of roots'
slow blood,
that from the soil of fertile wants arise.
Cloaked by sheen's growth, green wax protects
and holds the shadows falling towards slopes of hope.
A river runs from origin to end;
over dry land the whispered rush
of oceans
in soul's desert spent.
And touching skies and stars and frozen clouds,
sultry Summer sighs in eucalyptus balm
by dreams' transcend.
On loving you, a hue as slow as sleep
shifts in soft sway
and stirs tomorrow's sprouts from clay.
In a list
A contest entry
- #71 at Winklings for members and Friends from Allpoetry. by Lyndon.
3000 points, ended June 7, 2008, 17 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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a wonderful, moving poem
What can I say other than this is a beautiful poem? It is full of feeling and describes the eucalypt in a unique way.
Congratulations on a well deserved GOLD.
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Having lived in Australia all my life and grown up surrounded by them, there is beauty in the Eucalyptus tree. You made me feel as though I was taking a stroll through the Blue Mountains and taking in their beauty and the aroma they give out.
Your poem is very beautiful and I love the lines:
And touching skies and stars and frozen clouds,
sultry Summer sighs in eucalyptus balm
by dreams' transcend.
Very touching.
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Careful reading shows three strands
1) The botanical. Words such as stamens, aromatic, the phloem and xylem of the sapwood, your river from 'from origin to end'; from root-hairs in the soil to the guard cells on the under parts of leaves 60 feet in the air. [Judith Wright called a fine eucalypt, "a fountain slowed in air".]
2) Range: "over dry land the whispered rush
of oceans" and also in "deserts spent". Then the snow-gums of our High Country: "touching skies and stars and frozen clouds". And, of course the tropics and sub-tropics: "sultry Summer sighs".
3) The spiritual: A tangible love fingers this poem.
Your final words stir and buoy me:
"On loving you, a hue as slow as sleep
shifts in soft sway
and stirs tomorrow's sprouts from clay".
'Hue' serves you as simile and metaphor. There is wonderful music in your open vowels and alliterative sibilants.
Repetition of "On loving you" is most telling!
This is truly a beautiful poem.
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"On loving you, a hue as slow as sleep
shifts in soft sway
and stirs tomorrow's sprouts from clay."
^ favorite part ^
i liked your closing. it really wraps the piece up. -
My favourite part:
"And touching skies and stars and frozen clouds,
sultry Summer sighs in eucalyptus balm
by dreams' transcend."
Some of the best imagery I've seen in a long time,
you kept me on the edge of my seat with this one. Highly enjoyable read. The atmosphere is genius. What more is there to say? Amazing job! -
a sure winner- this is as beautiful as you.
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"Cloaked by sheen's growth, green wax protects
and holds the shadows falling towards slopes of hope.
A river runs from origin to end;
over dry land the whispered rush
of oceans
in soul's desert spent..."
Exceptional! Good luck in the contest!
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uhm sweet poem ...relating your love with soft natural texture and warmth
goodluck in your contest
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Wonderful imagery and rhyme! A very intelligent write!
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The beauty of this just washes over me in waves and it is one that I have to read over and over, because it is just so perfect. So delicate the sensuality portrayed and how perfect the metaphor. Instant classic!
In awe again,
Garrison
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Superb
Aye, indeed a fine write. Brings back many warm and tender memories. Marvelous imagery. thanks for sharing this one.
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Lovely take on the picture
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wonderful write! i enjoyed reading such a beautiful piece. I like the last stanza! Not sure why, but its great! best of luck in the contest
spreading some love,
miley -
Also, the picture was a nice addition to the poem. It sort of made it complete.
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wow... really amazing work, and i don't say that to just anything. Beautiful use of words, soothing and delicate. It gave me a great mental picture. Nice alliteration in the beginning. All in all, powerful. Good luck in your contest.
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A nice and soothing write here! I really enjoyed reading this! Nice job! Patty
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Now after this if you will just tuck me in and bid me a fond goodnight,I will sleep in the texture of these words. Zzzzzzz
Love, C
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You take my breath away with this amazing conglomeration of words. Your internal rhyme is impeccable. Alliteration is smooth. Title and content are so intertwined. Nature and touch always are in tandem. ASa massage therapist, when you touch in a healing way, you spread love to every nerve in one's body. Best wishes in this contest!
Shana
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Alas poor Mr. Hall did not get the job... Oh well...
This poem, particularly the first stanza... I find things flower sexual and the aliteration is superb. John Milton comes to mind.
Mike
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