so much gone wrong what
goes through ma mind as i
slide them pieces up
ova one anotha
th' edges iz easiest to find
easies' ta fit inta place
man what was that why'd
i beat that man down
then there's them pieces
they look like they go
tagetha somehow cuz
they got the same cullas
they look like they match yet
a lotta times they don't
i don' know why i get so angry
maybe cuz my own pieces
they nevva seem ta fit
these if look at 'em long
enough i find where they go
but no matta how long i look
at all th' liddle pieces of ma
life i don't see how they go
damn man i can't ev'n find
the edges fo' the frame
i used to force them pieces in
cuz it seem like they go like
that but then when i think ahm
close ta done it look all wrong
wrong like my damn life like
my damn future all jigsawed
but with pieces missin' an'
forced all crazy 'till they'z all
bent up an' don' seem ta fit
nowhere no mo' an' i didn't even
realize they wuz gettin' bent
when i put them in but i learned
learned if i gotta push hard they
ain't in the right place an' when
they do fit they just slip down
all easy an' it look right
maybe that's what i did tried
to make pieces fit that didn' go
where i' look like they did
maybe that's what my mamma
did when she had me when
she got high when she slept
wi' daddey when she got mad
and took it all out on us
took it all out on us till we didn'
know how our own pieces went
no mo' and now ahm here
here wi' failure starin' each day
hard in the face of a broken
tomorra wonderin' wonderin'
what ahm gonna live fo'
wonderin' how ahm goin'na live
but i got these puzzles an' i
learnin' how to find what pieces
go where an' ta take the time
take the time to fit 'em right
i learnin' how ta think about what
goes where how evrethang fits
tagetha an' ta pick up the pieces
an' maybe fit ma life tagetha
In a list
Thoughts, Feelings, Interpretations, Experience:
Comments
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As a mother of three it was not hard for me to envision a child talking to me while reading this. I have great respect for you Erin as an artist and as a person just through the short talks that we have had. This is touching to me in so many different ways that it is very hard to explain why.
wrong like my damn life like
my damn future all jigsawed
but with pieces missin' an'
forced all crazy 'till they'z all
This is the stanza that sticks out the most.. It hurts me immensley to think that a child would ever have to feel this way, but many do everyday.
Thanks Erin for making me remember that my problems are miniscule to those around me that I have never even met! -
It's a very touching, strong piece. It made me analyze my own puzzle, and how lucky are some that all their problem is solving the puzzle. Some or many would not be able to solve them until they complete the pieces. But of course, this is only one way of analyzing life. But whether it is a puzzle, or a yoyo, or chess, the things is we are the player. We make the move, and it's up for us to learn or to waste our whole life just playing.
I can practically hear a child speaking here, one with a bitter past but whose present he has learned to take in stride. You--and he--are right.
but i got these puzzles an' i
learnin' how to find what pieces
go where an' ta take the time
take the time to fit 'em right
And I tell you, it is not so hard to comprehend at all, even with the use of dialect. And it is certainly not difficult to appreciate. In fact, I really think it's a very good poetry. -
Very dark and deep.
Very dark and deep and so much like a puzzle itself. I think you pulled this together very well. I like the style that you have in writing this. Very unique and interesting. One that also makes you think.
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