Light...
drowned in light:
a bodily creature
fluctuates density,
occupies space
amongst spaces
where luminous objects appear.
They call with each voice
apart and in unison
wait;
for eye, ear...
perhaps to be held,
rotated, repaired
or broken
in hands.
All-through this luminous particularity
animal's life in limbs,
while sovereignty of consciousness
moves
throughout every-where.
Eye:
did not see this eye arrive
before;
wrap fed on its similar,
hosted fluctuating snooze
of lusts and desires,then-(style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 18px" class="Apple-style-span">) and "blah, blah, blahh!"(both beauty and hazard)
vibrated in flesh miraculous,
to develop limit,
in allowance for light,
innocent ability
willingly corrupted,
freedom meanders
to see an arriving
to witness a return.
The hairs through pores
play their role
as nails and sex follow
identity determined
by Is,
both not what is thought
and by, what is thought
but everywhere, how and why:
restricted and curtailed
by countless subtlety's
powerfully enslaving ways-
to where
for why
and what is following?
An active Question;
Oh' warm inside shrinks from pain
till passion alive overcomes it.
Under memory a place of release
all screams "Be"
between shout and silence
a cloud
parts humbly accepting their quiet places
'everywhere' also a treacherous viceroy/king
falling to a low concern with face
then never still
judging better or worse
in interest.
At last...
taken to bed
with hunger and need
not stopped
until...
all is agreed
in nothing
but Light.
In a list
A contest entry
- be by ArtFullyMe.
2400 points, ended May 25, 33 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Welcome any sincere responses and critique
Comments
1 - 36 of 36
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sometimes too much is seen in the light
congrats on the bronze
lovely write
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So I had hoped at one point to enter this contest as the host does not host many and is among my favorite poets/artists on this site.
Before I scrolled down and saw it was in her contest, I knew it was something that would appeal to her. We have similar thoughts she and I so, naturally it appealed to me as well.
I think I've rambled myself into a corner here. Short version, I enjoyed this - style, topic, the whole lot.
There's a bit in the middle that looks like some html that shouldn't be there (this site sometimes does odd things to the text when you edit).
Glad I followed a trail from some of my faves to your page.
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Thanks jantastic
the 'html'... yes this cropped up when I was editing, however because it appeared right where it did, I felt it had a place there at the time and allowed it to stay. The workings of particularisation and limitations riddled through things, I couldn't help but to relate to it as an albeit humorous, 'exposure'. Yes?... No?
Keep intending to ask Liza about it, now the contest is over.
Thanks for your encouragement and reminder.
Sol
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Well I'll admit, I had to consider whether it was intentional...
it does work.
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Again the italicized words bring the deepest and tightest connections to this piece, at least for me...a mild hammering of "see? see?" and we do see, thanks to your illuminating words. All hold light within and without and all "is agreed in nothing but Light". I like this a whole lot more than 'To be or Not to Be'...lol...Keep writing and I'll keep reading, and learning and growing (I hope) ...Thanks for sharing this one. Peace, Rhonda
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Congratulations on your entry....I find it most classical in tone...a warm toned essay of wisdom and enlightment.
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Much thanks to you B2oH!
Who cuts your hair?
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This is beautiful. Each line takes the reader down a different road triggering a different set of memories and images. There is a wonderful wordless, visual quality -- strangely non-verbal for a poem.
Very well done. Congrats on the bronze!
Garrison
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Thank you very much Garrison!
This was quite a new way of 'walking' for me and I enjoyed the invitation very much.
All the best to you.
Sol
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Light fascinates me..
Shiny, pretty, like a crow.. I am attracted to the invisible motion I know is there, the waves .. and the way it bends around things is absorbed, weighs heavier or lighter..
but enough of that..
without that phenomena of refraction, what would we see?
oddly, I think light, has become another of those too often used words though, like love, or God, and not so much because there is anything at fault with the words, more that they have become convenient methods of communicating less tangible things. Abstractions we are used to if I could call them that..
Still... one is left with scant few words to describe illumination, or as this appears -- a capture,
or the continual return of the sun, and all it symbolizes ..
there is much in this, and perhaps it's trying to say too much at once ( something I'm often guilty of )
but with some very well crafted lines
all screams "Be"
between shout and silence
yes it does ...
thank you
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Thanks to you!
I've just returned home, so very nice gift to come back to!
Yes... I always try to say too much, unless being more quick and perhaps even a little flippant.
This subject is never going to go away and I enjoyed the newness of challenge, trying to approach from your directions.
As with other ways of having 'met' you, I felt it growing me in some ways, hard to have imagined otherwise.
For me 'Light' will always be there, visible and hidden... though perhaps I may make use of the Arabic word 'nur' on another occasion.
Much thanks Liza
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the enjoyment was/is mutual then
and again thank YOU for letting me see things as well..
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you definitely write as you paint
the blending of the colors and words as your palette...
i could almost feel you create this poem on canvas!
Interesting...and a touch of humor here and there too...
i like that..i do that too..to keep the soul from
wandering off! the soul's attention span in each of
us is woefully lazy.
Thanks for the great write dear poet!
ears/Seattle well done! well done!
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I don't know if it's so much lazy or just easily distracted
Thanks for your kind comment ears.
Sol
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PROFOUND
This is a passionette write I LO-AMO it!!!!!!!! SALUTE -
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Whow... thank you profusely!!! Sol
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Excellent
A very fine write, with a bit of whimsicality. I quite enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing this one. -
"Oh' warm inside shrinks from pain
till passion alive overcomes it." Excellent, what a thought provoking read . Best of luck to you ~Bret~
. Rewarded 4
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Hi Bret, I'm pleased you found it that way, thank you for saying so. Sol
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Ambitious, though in need of better line breaks, stanza shapes, and revising. Will be interested in how this will become a few months from now.
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No reason for concern Sestos, I have no idea if I will be dead or not, in a few months time. Sol
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That's good to hear. Did you see I favourited you?
Take care
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In a few months I will be dead! Thank you very much.
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That was uncalled for, don't you think? I offered you honest feedback specific enough for you to work on. Stanza shapes might seem unimportant, but they can enhance meaning from line to line, take away meaning, connect L1 to L9. They can create double entendre and make rhythm, not to mention giving a more aesthetically pleasing surface for the eyes to look at.
What you do in return is to say you will be dead in a few months, undoubtedly to make me feel guilty and bad about myself. And, you did. Even if you are ill, Soloman, there was no need to bring such a thing into this. For what it is worth, I'm sorry you felt what you felt about my comment.
Be well,
Sestos
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Just be..
This poem lies so close to my own personal philosophies that I am a little speechless..
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x
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LOVELY!!! You inspire me, you know that? Thanks!
Jack
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Bless you Jack!
What could be more inspiring for me?!
And thank you. Sol
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Wow!
This is amazing. I can't even pick a favourite part, and I don't even know what else to say. Wow! X
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i tell you, it's pure filth!!
how very dare you!!!
mmmmmmmmmmmm hahahhahahhah -
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Yes, well it wouldn't have been realistic not to include my 'animal side'!
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rawwrrrrr
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"The hairs through pores
play their role
as nails and sex follow
identity determined"
love love love that part, see!! this is what the contest needed, a proper good poem, unlike my weird belly button fluff one..
damn Gary, this is good!! all is there in the light, you the small atom and hungry to grow..
yep - fine piece
now i can go back to bed!
G.x
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My 'proper poem' had a 'self' in it, dam! Didn't see it on the list, and I've had to change the title! MMmmmmm...
Glad you like it!... Mmmmm?
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What a beautiful and clever response to the prompt. Good luck in this contest!
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Thank you Neon, Sol
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