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An exposure

Light...

drowned in light:

a bodily creature
fluctuates density,
occupies space
amongst spaces
where luminous objects appear.

They call with each voice
apart and in unison
wait;

for eye, ear...
perhaps to be held,
rotated, repaired
or broken
in hands.


All-through this luminous particularity
animal's life in limbs,
while sovereignty of consciousness
moves
throughout every-where.

Eye:

did not see this eye arrive

before;
wrap fed on its similar,
hosted fluctuating snooze
of lusts and desires,
then-(style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 18px" class="Apple-style-span">) and "blah, blah, blahh!"
(both beauty and hazard)
vibrated in flesh miraculous,


to develop limit,
in allowance for light,
innocent ability
willingly corrupted,

freedom meanders
to see an arriving
to witness a return.


The hairs through pores
play their role
as nails and sex follow
identity determined

by Is,

both not what is thought
and by, what is thought

but everywhere, how and why:
restricted and curtailed
by countless subtlety's
powerfully enslaving ways-
to where
for why
and what is following?

An active Question;
Oh' warm inside shrinks from pain
till passion alive overcomes it.

Under memory a place of release

all screams "Be"
between shout and silence
a cloud
parts humbly accepting their quiet places
'everywhere' also a treacherous viceroy/king
falling to a low concern with face

then never still
judging better or worse
in interest.

At last...
taken to bed
with hunger and need

not stopped
until...

all is agreed

in nothing

but Light.
 

In a list

A contest entry

Welcome any sincere responses and critique

: , Your review:

Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression? Line numbers
: no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?) (Line numbers)

Comments

1 - 36 of 36

  • Grunts Girl
    June 21
    ?
    Edit | Reply
    sometimes too much is seen in the light
    congrats on the bronze
    lovely write

  • jantastic gold member
    June 3
    Edit | Reply
    So I had hoped at one point to enter this contest as the host does not host many and is among my favorite poets/artists on this site.

    Before I scrolled down and saw it was in her contest, I knew it was something that would appeal to her. We have similar thoughts she and I so, naturally it appealed to me as well.

    I think I've rambled myself into a corner here. Short version, I enjoyed this - style, topic, the whole lot.

    There's a bit in the middle that looks like some html that shouldn't be there (this site sometimes does odd things to the text when you edit).

    Glad I followed a trail from some of my faves to your page.

    • Thanks jantastic
      the 'html'... yes this cropped up when I was editing, however because it appeared right where it did, I felt it had a place there at the time and allowed it to stay. The workings of particularisation and limitations riddled through things, I couldn't help but to relate to it as an albeit humorous, 'exposure'. Yes?... No?

      Keep intending to ask Liza about it, now the contest is over.

      Thanks for your encouragement and reminder.

      Sol

      • jantastic gold member
        June 3

        Edit | Reply
        Well I'll admit, I had to consider whether it was intentional...

        it does work.

  • rhondasail
    May 28

    Edit | Reply
    Again the italicized words bring the deepest and tightest connections to this piece, at least for me...a mild hammering of "see? see?" and we do see, thanks to your illuminating words. All hold light within and without and all "is agreed in nothing but Light". I like this a whole lot more than 'To be or Not to Be'...lol...Keep writing and I'll keep reading, and learning and growing (I hope) ...Thanks for sharing this one. Peace, Rhonda


  • B2oH silver member
    May 26

    Edit | Reply
    Congratulations on your entry....I find it most classical in tone...a warm toned essay of wisdom and enlightment.


  • CaliOkie silver member
    May 25

    Edit | Reply
    This is beautiful. Each line takes the reader down a different road triggering a different set of memories and images. There is a wonderful wordless, visual quality -- strangely non-verbal for a poem.

    Very well done. Congrats on the bronze!

    Garrison

    • Thank you very much Garrison!
      This was quite a new way of 'walking' for me and I enjoyed the invitation very much.

      All the best to you.

      Sol

  • ArtFullyMe gold member
    May 24
    Edit | Reply

    Light fascinates me..
    Shiny, pretty, like a crow.. I am attracted to the invisible motion I know is there, the waves .. and the way it bends around things is absorbed, weighs heavier or lighter..

    but enough of that..

    without that phenomena of refraction, what would we see?

    oddly, I think light, has become another of those too often used words though, like love, or God, and not so much because there is anything at fault with the words, more that they have become convenient methods of communicating less tangible things. Abstractions we are used to if I could call them that..

    Still... one is left with scant few words to describe illumination, or as this appears -- a capture,
    or the continual return of the sun, and all it symbolizes ..

    there is much in this, and perhaps it's trying to say too much at once ( something I'm often guilty of )
    but with some very well crafted lines

    all screams "Be"
    between shout and silence


    yes it does ...

    thank you


    • Thanks to you!
      I've just returned home, so very nice gift to come back to!

      Yes... I always try to say too much, unless being more quick and perhaps even a little flippant.
      This subject is never going to go away and I enjoyed the newness of challenge, trying to approach from your directions.
      As with other ways of having 'met' you, I felt it growing me in some ways, hard to have imagined otherwise.
      For me 'Light' will always be there, visible and hidden... though perhaps I may make use of the Arabic word 'nur' on another occasion.

      Much thanks Liza

      • ArtFullyMe gold member
        May 25

        Edit | Reply

        the enjoyment was/is mutual then

        and again thank YOU for letting me see things as well..
  • you definitely write as you paint

    the blending of the colors and words as your palette...
    i could almost feel you create this poem on canvas!
    Interesting...and a touch of humor here and there too...
    i like that..i do that too..to keep the soul from
    wandering off! the soul's attention span in each of
    us is woefully lazy.
    Thanks for the great write dear poet!
    ears/Seattle well done! well done!

  • PROFOUND

    This is a passionette write I LO-AMO it!!!!!!!! SALUTE
  • Excellent

    A very fine write, with a bit of whimsicality. I quite enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing this one.
  • "Oh' warm inside shrinks from pain
    till passion alive overcomes it." Excellent, what a thought provoking read . Best of luck to you ~Bret~

    . Rewarded 4

  • Sestos
    May 3
    Edit | Reply
    Ambitious, though in need of better line breaks, stanza shapes, and revising. Will be interested in how this will become a few months from now.
    • No reason for concern Sestos, I have no idea if I will be dead or not, in a few months time. Sol
      • Sestos
        May 4

        Edit | Reply
        That's good to hear. Did you see I favourited you?

        Take care
    • In a few months I will be dead! Thank you very much.
      • Sestos
        May 3
        Edit | Reply
        That was uncalled for, don't you think? I offered you honest feedback specific enough for you to work on. Stanza shapes might seem unimportant, but they can enhance meaning from line to line, take away meaning, connect L1 to L9. They can create double entendre and make rhythm, not to mention giving a more aesthetically pleasing surface for the eyes to look at.

        What you do in return is to say you will be dead in a few months, undoubtedly to make me feel guilty and bad about myself. And, you did. Even if you are ill, Soloman, there was no need to bring such a thing into this. For what it is worth, I'm sorry you felt what you felt about my comment.

        Be well,
        Sestos




  • Just be..

    This poem lies so close to my own personal philosophies that I am a little speechless..

  • LOVELY!!! You inspire me, you know that? Thanks!

    Jack

  • Wow!

    This is amazing. I can't even pick a favourite part, and I don't even know what else to say. Wow! X

  • i tell you, it's pure filth!!
    how very dare you!!!
    mmmmmmmmmmmm hahahhahahhah
  • "The hairs through pores

    play their role

    as nails and sex follow

    identity determined"

    love love love that part, see!! this is what the contest needed, a proper good poem, unlike my weird belly button fluff one..

    damn Gary, this is good!! all is there in the light, you the small atom and hungry to grow..

    yep - fine piece

    now i can go back to bed!


    G.x

    • My 'proper poem' had a 'self' in it, dam! Didn't see it on the list, and I've had to change the title! MMmmmmm...

      Glad you like it!... Mmmmm?

  • NeonRose silver member
    May 1
    Edit | Reply
    What a beautiful and clever response to the prompt. Good luck in this contest!

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