Videotape
slipped into machine,
heart pounding
when button pressed.
Watching convenience store's door open
and man with gun
pointed towards my son behind the counter.
Suppressing anger
when robber left,
my dead son on floor.
Accused claiming not guilty,
play back plea from other trials.
Author notes
45 words
prompt: playback
A contest entry
- Quickie--Word prompt by Purush.
450 points, ended May 5, 2008, 15 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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Watching convenience store's door open
and man with gun pointed
pointing+ towards my son behind the counter.
can it be termed as ---+ positioning
to avoid repetition.you have woven the verse well
all the best in my contest -
-
Thanks for mentioning the one duplication. I did change it.
-
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Very Intense
I like the way your poem builds in intensity line by line. Great Poem.
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