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Intoxicaded

Heads spin
I'm Intoxicaded
Stomachs reel

The world around me spins
and the music blares
heavy eyes and head aches
puking and passing out
oh, the joys of being young
alcoholic and out of control
in love with intoxication

I sits on a bathroom floor
in a house 1 barely knows
6 Shots everclear, 12 beers
and my world is crashing down
forgotten memories come flooding
and there's no one to turn to
nowhere to run and hide
only plact to go is in the back of my mind
I picks myself up off the floor
wiping the puke off my cheeks
hair's a spikey mess -- what a pitiful sight
silently I wonders how much more...
how much more can I take
before I'm back at the refrigerator door

A contest entry

have you ever felt this way

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • BloodSeeker Lette
    October 14, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I like this one alot babe.


  • Ace13
    May 6, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    One more comment

    I said to convince me that your smashed, not that you are an alcoholic...lol


  • xPink-Lotusx
    May 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Wow...

    I think you strayed a little from the contest.. As this has more realism than I expected. Its a great write, good imagery. Honestly not what I expected, but still a very good write. Very well done. Best of luck in the contest Homie!

  • Yvette Champ gold member
    May 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Oh, poignant and powerful imagery with emotion that carries the notion that perhaps too much to drink may leave a person on the brink between the devil and the deep, unalcoholic sea, indeed it's a thought provoking piece and perhaps has more validity than humour for there are many side effects from being in this demoralizing state.


  • myrataal silver member
    May 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Nope ... I have never felt this way ...

    wow. I admire you for getting up, dude.

    Now tell me please ... does that give you a kick?

    You described this so well, I think you deserve a trophy!

    You should try to keep out of messes like this, Poet. For apart from a trophy, you may soon get a need for new liver ... CRY!



    Good luck in the contest.

    Blessed be.
    Myra

  • Ace13
    May 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    here is some pointage dude


  • Ace13
    May 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I like the idea that you made the background colors look like the colors of everclear. Just remember to go by the rules next time. Well i would say that your are pretty smashed. Well i still have others to judge so good luck

1 - 7 of 7