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My Cast-Off

Doubting, I wished to throw you off;

place you in a wardrobe

where moths may corrupt.

 

Doubting, I've sulked,

thinking you had blocked

my natural motions.

 

Doubting, I've discarded you,

feel shivers from night air;

near nakedness of soul.

 

Doubting, I walk into the garden,

goose-pimples aplenty,

and, doubtless, ponder

 

how warm I once was.  

 

 

 

 

Author notes

A cast-off may be a person; idea; Faith; person; lover where one has shaken off, through doubt, the thing so near. At least that is my metaphor, and I'm sticking to it!

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 13 of 13

  • delightfulmess silver member
    June 17, 2008

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    I think this is very unique and beautiful
    Very eloquant.
    Congrats on the silver trophy win.
    Well deserved.


    Delila


  • runewalker
    May 3, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Congrats Lyndon. another trophy for your wall! I liked your changes. Well done....


  • MargaretG
    May 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Doubt is a good thing, if we find a good reason for laying aside or picking up again. I have had these feelings, and examining the old sweat-shirt, found it full of holes.
    I like the repetition of "Doubting", it is a stubborn thought.


  • runewalker
    May 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    skin exfoliates, why not beliefs, faith, people and lovers?

    this:

    Doubting, I walk into the garden,
    goose-pimples aplenty,
    and, doubtless, ponder sadly

    Changed to this:

    Doubting, I walk into the garden,
    goose-pimples aplenty,
    and, doubtless, ponder

    would make it more open ended and ironic.

    Liked it very much.


    • runewalker
      May 2, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      just a thought, thanks for not being offended. I like it when these comment conversations are dynamic, but not everyone else does. lots of sensitivities here. My work has been improved by friends thoughtful feed back. Not that my suggestion improves your piece. People here are mostly very gentle. "Awesome" is nice, but not always assuring that the piece has been thoroughly absorbed.


      • Lyndon gold member
        May 2, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        I am so happy that you think the way that you do.

    • Lyndon gold member
      May 2, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Dear Poet

      I think that you are correct! Thank you.


  • azure85 gold member
    May 1, 2008

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    An excellent poem on the prompt-from the initial doubt, to denial, until sadness at what is gone. Nicely written, and leaves much to the reader's imagination, thank you so much!

    • Lyndon gold member
      May 28, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you!

      And thank you so much for the silver trophy!
      Ron.


  • Sue Cardwell gold member
    May 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Casting off is not necessarily a bad thing, it gives a chance to re-evaluate your life, but ah...we all have that slight moment of doubt

    I'm glad you're sticking to it!

    All the best in the contest...Sue


  • 2lullabyhaven
    May 1, 2008

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    I'll have what he's having hahahaa you make a grand point, Monsieurlol


  • NeonRose
    May 1, 2008

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    Oh, wonderful write! Excellent metaphor! Glad you are "sticking to it"..wouldn't want you to doubt yourself... Good luck in the contest!


  • Lady Altheia gold member
    May 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I have been cast off and did my share of casting off. I try to avoid the casting off but sometimes it is unavoidable.

1 - 13 of 13