Staying up after good means bad
for longer. Pain disjoints
drums tattooed through my brain.
Full visions of the future
contorting what I seek,
lost in muted patterns,
lack of sleep.
A contest entry
- be by ArtFullyMe.
2400 points, ended May 25, 2008, 31 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
tell me exactly what you think; no holds barred!
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
-
Short and sharp - the slant rhymes work really well. I know this place, I live there.
-
-
cheers!
I divide my time between this, and hibernating
from one extreme to the other!
-
-
read this while sitting awake at 4 am because my muscles hurt from dancing. this is totally right now.
-
ah lack of sleep, i certainly know how that feels but at the same time i know the other way too with sleeping too much at times - a good piece.
-
Oh to wake without sleeping. World twisting, deliriums images not quite rejected...
If I ever slept, I wouldn't related to this at all.
-
nice and short and as usual, unusual and abraisive. your work is like a ounch in the face, regardless of what is said, it just comes right at you and I can't help but be overwhelmed sometimes
-
like the seek sleep rhyme
end the piece succintly
Adding your comment:
1 - 7 of 7
