Pain surges through the void,
swells of passions blow cold.
Transient memories emerge,
torn like paper gold.
Empty eyes were blinded,
shuttered were all thoughts.
Leaving fragile spirit broken,
emotions ripped, distraught.
Your feelings were unheard,
angels voice, always ignored.
Leaving you so vulnerable,
exposed deeply to the core.
Lost in swells of anguish,
soul weeps and shivers.
Until you unleash a scream,
that does more than deliver.
Author notes
Prompt picture
credit;
http://hunterofsolitude.deviantart.com/art/Ocean-s-Scream-77378536
Just a thought when I saw the pic.
BG made by me.
A contest entry
- Ocean's Scream - PIF - Quickie by background music.
725 points, ended May 2, 2008, 7 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Fallen Angels by Psychotic Moon.
400 points, ended May 6, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Short Poems About Anything (PW welcome) by Intricate Wordsmith.
550 points, ended May 28, 2008, 54 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
-
Congratulations on your award a wonderful poem
-
This is an amazing poem and the picture suits it well. . .Good luck in my contest.
-
This is great...I love how all the elements of the poem fit together - the background(nice job by the way), the font, the colors...It is great..."Empty eyes were blinded, shuttered were all thoughts" it sends shivers up my spine. I really love this poem because I can relate to it
-
sorry I didn't comment on this the other day.. but here I am back to do so. I can relate to pretty much all of this poem.. I felt like you were talking about me the other day, thats why I couldn't.. the pain was unreal and god did it hurt, all the way inside.
I truly love this poem that you have written, a very dark write, but also very full of emotions. lots of sadness.
Congratulations on the Gold trophy, well deserved
love you mommy
kat
-
Yay congrats on the Gold hunny!!!
*does a little dance for you* -
-
Thank you...got a contest to do now
-
-
Very nice write. Congratulations.
~ Joyce
-
When I saw this picture - this poem is exactly what I envisioned! Except, you have penned the words better then I could have! I love the emotions that you have portrayed to the reader. Also I like the background
-
Nice..
A lost love is like the cold that blows and the memories are always painful as they appear as an illusion of great things, even though they may have not been. The destruction of ones spirit will definitely follow and make you feel alone and vulnerable but yet to come is the anger that swells right below the surface. Building in intensity until it can be released......perhaps in a scream....
-
Good luck!
Freaking awesome piece! This matches perfectly with the picture. This was one of those poems where you can feel the tension building up till you just wanna blow up and scream
'Lost in swells of anguish,
soul weeps and shivers.
Until you unleash a scream,
that does more than deliver', the best part, especially the last two lines. You can tell that from the POV this was written from that the person really and I mean REALLY means it when they finally scream.
-
Cool
Great use of the prompt pic. You created an entire story around it that the reader would like to continue. Good Luck, and Good Write. ~Peace~Gar
-
Can I do that scream too??? lol
Loving it!! The tension in her soul then building up to the SCREAM!!!! Awesome hunny...
Gorgeous background too!
-
Girl...this is a wonderful poem filled with emotion!
"Lost in swells of anguish,
soul weeps and shivers.
Until you unleash a scream,
that does more than deliver."
We all hold things inside until we finally scream them out so we can be heard.
Great rhyme and flow
Good luck in the contest
-
Nicely Done Good luck
Adding your comment:
1 - 14 of 14
