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Darkness Inside

It's a darkness inside us all,
one that can make us beg and crawl.
It can chew us up and swallow us whole,
all the while consuming our soul.

It's black as crows and silent as night,
and it won't back down from this great delight.
Impossible to show,
as well as impossible to control.

This darkness I talk of,
the thing that wears us like a glove.
The monster that causes great pain,
believe it or not, has no name.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • mysticstorm gold member
    May 7, 2008

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    Well done and very relatable...I love the ending for it is well stated...you do write with heart ans soul and that, my dear is talent...excelletn once more...not to long and gets the meaning across well, while holding ones attention...all are a sign of great work...
    :


  • TheDemonEve
    May 4, 2008

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    The rhyming threw me off in a few places, but the emotional content and personal connotations in this poem are stunning. Many, many people experience this, but few capture it so eloquently. Nicely done!


  • Lucy.
    May 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I think many can relate to this! Great write. I really like these lines;
    It can chew us up and swallow us whole,
    all the while consuming our soul.
    I also like one of the responses you got to this, saying the name of the monster is that of yourself. So true.

  • Nicely done. Well rhymed. You did a good job capturing the image of the nebulous monster. Best of luck in the contest.


  • movedon
    May 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    holy shamoly! this blew me away. ok thats it yours going on my favorites list. you are such a good writer, no matter what you think

    spreading more love,
    miley


  • takenfromgrace
    May 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I like this one too. You're an amazing writer.


  • lovemedeath
    May 1, 2008
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    wow liked the darkness in the poem!!!!! it rocks!!!!


  • Brooklynn Tainted gold member
    May 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    wow u say your not a writer but u are. this is good


  • maktub
    May 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Hey, that is expressive...and I've written you and answer :-)

    The Darkness Is Mine

    This darkness inside, does it truly have no name?
    No…it is called by whence it came.
    Sapping the strength of happiness and good health,
    The name of your monster is that of yourself.

    My monster resembles yours as far as I can see,
    Excepting that my monster is undeniably me.
    This oozing tar that corrupts my being
    is all my fault; something myself is self-inflicting.

    Why should it back down when I invited it?
    Can I rid myself of my own self-fitted skin?
    Creep it may, chewing, gnawing away at my being,
    But it’s not like I've tried all that hard at escaping.


  • Freak--My Lable
    May 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Wow.

    Pure amazement. I really like the first stanza, makes a lot of sence to me.

    great write dear.


  • iamlost gold member
    May 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    "Impossible to show,
    as well as impossible to control."

    I love these lines, as well as the last line, this is a wonderful poem, this idea is conveyed very well. Thank you for this entry.

1 - 12 of 12