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Perfect kiss

A boy, a girl,
crashing waves.
A hopeful glint,
a cheeky smile.
Pretence of innocence.
No longer able to resist.

The long awaited,
perfect kiss.

Author notes


Written December 17th, 2003

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • With Broken Wings
    February 23, 2008

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    Awww!! I like it a lot a lot!! Its short, simple, detailed, and right to the point.. three words; brilliant, brilliant, brilliant =] Lots of luck! Thanx for the entry

    <3 Lifes Sorrow


  • UncleSpace
    December 20, 2003
    Edit | Reply

    very nice

    very sweet and romantic ... ahh ... the first kiss ... so precious and magic Please keep writing and always go back to it, you'll just get better and better. And thanx so much for your nice comment. HAPPY Holidays!
    Edited on Dec 20, 7:21 p.m. because 'ed.'.


  • StarGazer
    December 20, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    honestly.. do you really want to know what I think of this write................ hmmm, I LOVED IT! chee. lol, had you goin there didnt I.. anyhooo, getting back to the poem.. ahem. I liked the imagry you put forward and the way somehow I could actually hear the ocean in the background, and feel the innocense behind that first kiss... of course not all of us get to have that scene for our first kiss. *sigh* o well. I really liked this, ohhh and thanks for commenting on my poem "Time Suspended" it meant alot. ciao
    *~StAr~*

  • quicksilver
    December 19, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    Short and sweet, I love it. Especially the lines -
    "Pretence of innocence.
    No longer able to resist." For being less than 30 words, you still managed to make it a beautiful write. Keep it up.
    All the best, quicksilver


  • December 17, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    It is Not cheesey, and the rhyme is perfect. So stop being mean to this wonderful little poem.


  • butterflyinflight
    December 17, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    *SIGHS VERY HEAVILY* AHHHHHHHH...I WANT THIS. This type of poem. Ahhh..........Now I am sighing again. I want this. I want this. I want this.

    But I'm idealistic like that, I guess. lol. Anyways, thanks for sharing this....Wonderful.

    -butterflyflight

  • Salmender-Lily
    December 17, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    This is a great poem! I like the way it uses few words but says so much! Good work! Also, thanks for your review of "Two Windows At Christmas". I really am glad you liked it! Deb


  • RnbowLette
    December 17, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    love it

  • rgrpaperboy
    December 17, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    This is a wonderful short poem that gets right to the point. Great job from you on this writing. Thank you for your comments on Winter Again. Take care Rick

1 - 9 of 9