"There is no time to wait,
it's only a walking distance
to the sandy shore,"
the husband huffs and huffs,
impatiently pacing,
his wife certainly taking
such a precious thing as time.
It's been a long while since
together they shared the sun's warmth
or held hands, enjoying the breeze.
So, huffing, he stops pacing
and turns to her sharply,
but is struck by her lasting beauty
as she reminds him of memories
where they were always in such a hurry,
never slowing down.
He remembers and breathes,
bending down slowly,
kissing her forehead softly,
as they, together,
spend such precious time-
The ageing man smiles lovingly at his wife,
placing a gentle hand upon the back of her chair,
and, spending such precious time,
the ageing woman combs her hair.
Author notes
A man and his wife, spending such prescious time.
A contest entry
- Last Lines by Keith.
450 points, ended May 4, 2008, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Good Pre Writes With No Trophies by lindaburns.
2100 points, ended November 11, 2008, 28 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Give me a critical thought.
Comments
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JUDGE:
This made
tears come to my eyes. I HATE things that make me cry!
Your poem is beautiful. So authentic sounding. Here you go onto the finalist list. Good luck.
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Thank you for the comment and for the contest... I know how Prewrite contests can be (whew), but I was very happy to enter into this one.
*This poem, coming from the original contest, was based off a last line prompt: "the ageing woman combs her hair". Thought this would make you understand it even better. So glad that you liked this. Cheers. Scion
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Well done. You'll find a link to the original of this poem if you look at the other entries. I have a huge number to judge, so if yours is not placed, that does not mean that it is not a worthy entry. Thanks.
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