.
as sandy pearls
shifted in their wake
holding onto
nothing more than
a faint memory;
funerals
marched across
like bitter lines
around her heart.
.
so as bitter black days
filled long dialogues
rough edges of time
grated against her laugh,
spinning salty crystal drops
that wasted into the night
.
Author notes
.
A contest entry
- Hour Glass by Malabu.
525 points, ended May 23, 2008, 17 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
very well written poem...I like what you did here...for age 16 this is great...although I perfer you had used alternate word for bitter...being you used it once in the lines above this one
like bitter lines
around her heart.
.
so as bitter black days
filled long dialogues
and I know you put a period there to seperate.. the stanza..still an excellent poem
-
-
thank you for the amazing advice. I'll fix it as soon as I have more time later. && thank you for the HM too.
smile always,
checkmate.
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