watching you was pure torture
standing there next to her
speaking in whispers, silent touches
I remember when those words
were for my ears alone
did you forget or does it just not matter
that we spoke of our love
now the torture of knowing
that she’s the one who shares your life
is like a sword being twisted inside me
as my heart lay bleeding at my feet
I know it’s over for us
you belong to her now
but my love for you remains strong
with glass half empty, I contemplate
will one more drink ease the pain
or shall I move on, let go of the past
and all that you mean to me still
I don’t think I can do it
dee garner
© april 30, 2008
Author notes
Option #1 Word Bank. Words used:
Torture
Forget
Glass
Strong
Sword
In a list
A contest entry
- Options... Partners In Crime by Partners In Crime.
550 points, ended May 13, 2008, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
-
Wonderful
Very creative and so well expressed. Full of intense emotions. Thank you for sharing
-
Oh So Sad
This is an excellent write but ever so painful. Oh how my heart goes out to you if this is about you... The emotions are very powerful and the flow is excellent. The title is neat, watching you....
You are such a fabulous poetess.
Now the torture of knowing
that she's the one who shares your life
is like a sword being twisted inside me
as my heart lay bleeding at my feet
Wow this is so heart wrenching. Fabulous Write. Thank you for sharing with me.
Wishing You Many Blessings
Much Love
Kelle Marie
-
-
Thanks for reading and commenting on this piece, Kel. No, it's not about me, just something that came to me using the word bank for this contest. But the feelings expressed come from somewhere, I know. I think we've all experienced or will experience a situation similiar to this one.
Thank goodness I'm happy with my guy and he certainly seems happy with me. There's a certain mutual confidence which comes with a mature relationship, I think... (or maybe we're too old and comfortable to worry about things like this)
Dee
-
-
I hear many who feels this way
Only if they watch that person and know in time he will leave her to this should make you feel better for its not the girls its himself he is one who cant stay in one place too long . Young people are like that and thats why when you are young never give of your body other than kisses and hugs for if you give any more you can bet they will move on once they are through with you . For the one who gets the guy for life is the one who saves herself for her wedding night
-
Hm. This is one of your most unusual poems, Dee. As Keith Drew said: Someone you knew, changed.
Yeah, you get that sense of remorse, the icy, inner pit in the gut; the feeling that only sudden loss can bring. It's hard to deal with things like that isn't it? Keep going strong and never stop writing!
Peace, Love & Light,
Jay
-
Feelings emotions memories and trust.
All gone in an instant.
Suddenly being alone.
This lesson learned is a hard one.
Someone you knew, changed.
As we all do.
That forbidden fruit becomes too much to bare.
Always there tempting yearning us before it may be too late.
And the older we get the more we yearn.
Why is so hard to be content.
Just put it down to mid life crisis Dee.
And learn that no matter how much you love someone.
In the end all we have and can trust in, completely.
Is ourselves.
Sorry to hear your hurting, but don't he ain't worth it.
-
-
Thanks for your indepth comment, Keith. Thankfully this isn't about me, I'm happy with my guy and apparently he's happy with me
We're doing just fine. The poem was based on the contest word bank but, you know, even when a piece isn't personal, it comes from somewhere in the back of our minds... an old flame, a heartbreaking relationship, something experienced in our past. And yep, I've had some of those myself. So when I saw the word bank, those old feelings probably sneaked into this piece.
I consider that I wrote something kinda good, though if the reader gets those 'personal' vibes.
Thanks for reading and commenting, it's much appreciated.
Dee
-
-
Beautifully written from the word bank... imagery is outstanding and your flow and storyline captures the reader in a heartwrenching reality..
I wish you all the best in the contest!!
Linda
-
excellent~
This was sad
But you penned it perfectly
Best of luck in the contest
I am slowly trying to catch up
Had chemo last week not feeling too good tonight
Love n hugs
Your sis
Susan~~~
-
O.K.!
Hey Dee! Make mine a Jack Daniels on the rocks!
-
a good poem, though i had to highlight to read it, maybe though that is my mad eyes rather than the font here
-
I had to highlight it to read it but it was worth it. I can sympathize with anyone in this situation. The emotions presented are most compelling. Best wishes in the contest.
Sincerely,
Leo Long
-
hello my lovely mama
I'm a little lost for words here. Sad poems often make me feel like this!
Wish you luck in the contest.
Love you
Shahrzad
-
So much pain and love at the same time...Yes I think that cuts deep and can last a lifetime too...
You did a wonderful job here in the wordbank...
Good luck Dee,
in all you do
XXJeannette
-
Ver nicely done with the word bank given,, so much sadness and heartache expressed vividly in this beautifully written story poem!!
I wish you all the best in the contest!
Linda
-
This poem cuts deep, that dull pain in the heart that you wish would just disappear seems to last a life time. I loved this.
Thank you for entering
Adding your comment:
1 - 16 of 16
