I yell out what my soul feels
And all if its secrets.
You just laugh and say,
"Mind poop."
You see, being around you
Is nothing like a critical disease,
But more like being a palindrome.
You're only correct if you are backwards,
And only worth anything
If you follow the strict rules of breaking rules.
But I can't see it.
You'll learn to notice I'm logical,
Normal, satisfactory,
With a keen attention to detail.
Yes, normal with forty-two chromosomes
And seventy-five percent water.
I gave you everything,
But you just laughed and said
"Mind poop."
I am left with
My palindrome self,
Trying to pretend
To be the same
Forwards as I am back.
But what you'll find
Is that backwards
My meaning changes.
Backwards, I no longer
Live for you.
You just laugh and say,
"Mind poop."
Author notes
I am not sure if this is what you are looking for but there is a metaphor in there. But there it is, my mind poop (inspired by a teacher who would just say 'mind poop' everytime i would try to answer)
A contest entry
- metaphors by james119.
625 points, ended May 1, 2008, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Is it too much of the samething over and over again? Should it be titled palindrome?
Comments
-
Good write
I like the expressiveness of this poem. The term 'mind poop' is new to me, and fun. The way you depict this familiar type of relationship is novel and interesting. The repetition is fine here because of the repetitive response the second person. That some people demand that we see things in their own convoluted way is frustrating, a theme which follows through in the lines. I think you have the right title ; palindrome mades some sense, but mind poop fits better in my view.
My favorite lines are:
my palindrome self (quite original)
But what you'll find
Is that backwards
My meaning changes.
Backwards, I no longer
Live for you.
You just laugh and say,
"Mind poop."
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