A broken heart, closed, locked,
shunning comfort, denying love.
Never again to feel the pain,
of betrayal and loss.
Walls wrapped tight, standing tall,
emotions stuffed into cracks.
Defenses fire again and again,
keeping love at bay.
An impenetrable fortress,
standing lonely on a hill.
Yet the fortress falls,
with one small smile.
Author notes
Option #3/#2: thoughts/ love
Yes, I know, it's free verse. I don't do it very damn often for sure.
Love you Tory.
In a list
A contest entry
- ~* Let Love In *~ by Desire.
700 points, ended May 2, 2008, 9 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - - Bronze...Go For the Gold - by Desire.
400 points, ended May 17, 2008, 4 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
Welcome Back!!
Beautiful
Your piece qualifies and elated to see You back
Best wishes in my contest Sweet Soul!!
and much love~ Desire~*~
-
Thank You!!
Thank You for Your entry: Impenetrable
This piece tugged at Spirit and swelled the eyes...
reason being...The last two lines...
I was seeing an iceberg melt...a concrete glacier
melt due to the Love of another...that penetrated
Your walls
I am getting the word: Betrayed...and years...
hearing word: suicide...and actually hearing word:
God intervened...getting even though Your cursed
His name to the point of turning blue...code...
Now...there is some rumbling I am getting while
reading Your words for I am getting...
like wrath...not anger...not being upset...
wrath...wanting to rip to shreds...at breakup...
hearing word connected to breakup...
also: child at Heart...
batted eyes...Innocence melted the hardened shell...
Trust took time...but eventually...fused together
the shards of Heart's glass...
Powerful images to touch deep and I commend You for doing free verse
These lines grabbed and pulled~
Yet the fortress falls,
with one small smile.
Beautiful take on the prompt~
Thank You for sharing Your Heart also Spirit!
Best wishes to You in the contest Sweet Soul
**Judging will be done shortly...
Many blessings too
and much love~ Desire~*~
-
Well done
Most powerfully written!
Wishing you the very best of luck in this contest! -
well done here. Best wishes to you in the contest
Love
Passions
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