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Born of Fire, Raised in Sin

Born of fire and raised in sin,
waiting here for the chaos to begin.
I have my wings yet I cannot fly,
and though I live I shall never die.

I sit here and await my demise,
while this fire lights up the skies.
Forgotten and broken,
a victim to extreme emotion.

Slowly I begin to fade and deteriorate,
these flames slowly consuming my hate.
I feel the darkness come,
my body going numb.

As the end starts I let out a grin,
born of fire raised in sin.





Author notes

I used option 1 and 3, and I must say I'm proud of this spur of the moment piece.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 18 of 18
  • nice.


  • sapphireangelwings
    May 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Interesting piece. I liked the tangling of fire and sin together.......worked exceptionally well with this piece. It has great flow and the rythme scheme is magnificent. Dark and imaginative. Good job.


  • Butterfly24
    May 7, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    thanks for the entry


  • Sgt B
    May 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    I like this style

    I love your rhyme, flow was good. Not forced.
    I also like the way you wrapped this one up with the same line you opened it up with.

    ~Ron~


  • TheDemonEve
    May 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    And proud of it you should be. You paint a dark and morbid picture here, and one that should be terrifying to those who cannot identify with this situation. One of your best!


  • movedon
    May 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is so beautiful...painfully beautiful. You write with such...passion. Dark passion and i enjoy reading it. There is much angst and pain in this poem and I love it!

    Keep up the AMAZING work!
    Miley


  • storiesuntold gold member
    May 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Very good work

    If I may ask do you write your own music and songs .I have a guitar but need lessons to learn to play it but I want to learn for sure in my lifetime

    • Hate-And-Pain
      May 1, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Yes I do, I'm currently in a band as a matter of fact. It's truly not that hard to learn, if its something you want you'll get it with tremendous speed.

  • hey good luck in the contest i know u'll do good i absoulutly loved the poem


  • KhaosFury
    May 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    O my, this was truely imagery! ^_^ best of luck!!!

    P.S.
    Brownie points!!!

    ~Salence


  • iamlost gold member
    May 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    "I have my wings yet I cannot fly,
    and though I live I shall never die."

    Wow. This poem is amazing. I love the title/last line, they tie into this piece and weave it into something truly deep. I love the rhyming as well--I love to read good rhyming poems--as well as the darkness in it. Great write!


    • Hate-And-Pain
      May 1, 2008

      Edit | Reply
      Thank you very much, most of my "work" has a darkness to it. It's just something that flows out of me.


      • iamlost gold member
        May 1, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        I understand completely, as the darkness flows in my veins as well.


        • Hate-And-Pain
          May 1, 2008
          Edit | Reply
          Well it's good to know that there is a fellow soul out there with a darkness similar to mine.


  • Hiddenspaces
    April 30, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Bravo, and this is a very well written piece. best of luck in the contest!
    kudos,
    Hidden


  • islekine gold member
    April 30, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Well penned!

    Best wishes in the contest!
    Write on!
    *PEACE*

1 - 18 of 18