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Summertime Loss

Blazing heat upon downtown sidewalks
children gasping, air dry, old timers squawk.
Dominoes on the front porch, beer in hand
as men gather weekly, just as planned.

Mothers are sweating in the kitchens heat,
making their family, a special treat;
Lemonade and cookies for neighbor’s clan,
for dominoes title, she helps her ol’ man.

Scratching their heads, wiping away the sweat,
laughter rings out, when the last ten was met.
Heat lightening shoots across the dark skies,
as each last ol’ timer, said his goodbyes.

Cleaning up the front porch, smiling at him,
noticing his eyes, as he kissed the twins;
The way that they danced, when he saw them,
she couldn’t help, but remember back then.

His eyes, misty, as one more day ends,
watching the kids sleep, being blessed by friends.
Gathering on the front porch, next to his wife,
breathing in the summer air, he loved life.

Tears welled up in this old woman’s eyes,
Husband now gone, the twins living their lives,
Missing the ones who always loved her…
as memories had faded this summer.

 

In June a year ago, heading to town,
lightening struck head on, next day he’s found.

All that’s left is the smile he wore that night.
Summer has drained her, of her lovers light

Author notes

Interlocking sonnets, three poems rolled in one. You can read all as one or read the color coordinated sections separated.

Sonnet:

Sonnet
A Sonnet is a poem consisting of 14 lines (iambic pentameter) with a particular rhyming scheme:

Examples of a rhyming scheme:

#1) abab cdcd efef gg
#2) abba cddc effe gg
#3) abba abba cdcd cd

A contest entry

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression? Line numbers
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Comments

1 - 10 of 10
  • I like this story better. How tragic of losing her husband. Summer doesn't have the same meaning when you are older than when you are young.

  • paw-writer silver member
    April 30

    Edit | Reply
    What a beautiful and unique poem you have written here! I enjoyed reading it both ways. nice write! Patty

    . Rewarded 4


  • grannyeri gold member
    April 30

    Edit | Reply
    Liked these interlocking sonnets and how you have created them through the different colors you used. Two different point of views using the colors works well as well.

    . Rewarded 4


  • oikevois baby gold member
    April 30

    Edit | Reply
    Many people just stink at writing rhyme poems, but you have done a wonderful job! The beats were beautiful and matched!!! The beginning reminded me of Hitchcock's Shadow Of A Doubt. A typical all american type town. Santa Rosa I believe or something like that. An interesting image. Well done

    Spreading love,
    Miley
  • This is absolutely brilliantly written! I love your interlocking sonnets, it's extremely well done. You are really talented and I am so impressed by this write. It's beautiful not only in the form but also your word choice and your flow. It's flawless, well done.

    . Rewarded 6

  • What a beautiful piece! love the idea with interlocking sonnets. I was always a fan of traditional forms and this play on the form is really well done. The alternating points of view make it more interesting, and I also love the lines "The way that they danced, when he saw them,
    she couldn’t help, but remember back then." This was a beautiful collection of memories. I wonder what inspired this sad story.
    • Thanks so much for your comment on this piece. I actually felt my way through thisone to see where it went..and here it went..I appreciate your kind words. Thank you for reading me.

      Passions

  • catie052 gold member
    April 30

    Edit | Reply
    Genius! i love the idea that you can read just the red stanzas as one poem as her point of view...and the blue as his...and a great story at that...(well sad ending) but great story

    . Rewarded 4


  • Griswold silver member
    April 30

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, now this one sent chills up my spine honey, you did this one beautifully. Going to kick my ass in this contest I see.. Love you baby...Scott


  • poeticweaver gold member
    April 30

    Edit | Reply

    Wow,

    A very clever piece you have weaved here V~
    And so potent as well. Very moving. Thanks for sharing!

    Much love, Timothy

1 - 10 of 10