I don't understand

I don't understand.
You lie there in a pool
of your own misery.
You tied the cement block to your own feet
and threw yourself in.
You forgot the lifeline
and the guard is off-duty.
Can you swim?

I don't understand.
Your fascination in the faded old wallpaper.
I've never seen you blink
not once.
So i stare too trying to discover the land
fabricated over the walls,
so captivating that you shut me out.
Can you hear me?

I don't understand.
Your silence.
It slices through the air
and into our lungs.
You can hear the tears
crash like thunder on the floor.
We love you
Can you still love us too?

I don't understand.
You saw yourself slipping
from reality.
Rescuers were a call away
but you chose not to
say a word.
How did it get this far
Can you help me understand?