Carolina was born unwell,
the doctors wouldn't let her go.
Her mother felt they had no right,
to treat her little baby so.
She took her in the dead of night;
to a place where no one would find them.
She just wanted to care for the child,
and leave the past behind them.
The mother cared for Carolina,
her daughter was her prize.
The one concern she had was this,
Carolina never cried.
Then one day the doctors found them;
this time they took the mother.
Separated from her child, she mourned,
for she could not have another.
Now this is the reason,
Carolina never cries or speaks;
not just born unwell, stillborn,
Carolina has been dead for weeks.
Now the mother sits alone,
in a dimly lighted room.
Doctors all around her, she hears Carolina cry.
She knows this will be her tomb.
Author notes
This is a fictional story of a mother who lost her daughter at birth. Unable to take the loss, the mother had a neurotic breakdown.
A contest entry
- Hush Little Baby by Uasal Laoch Aingeal.
1900 points, ended May 16, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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Oh wow this is tragic and very dark. Sickened my stomach to think of the poor mother caring for a child that would never cry.
Well written.
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Sometimes the loss can cause people to break down emotionally and mentally. Your poem expressed that well. Also the flow of your poem is very smooth all the way through and it really helps set the mood. Thank you for entering it into my contest.
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heartfelt
sorry but i have no applause points to give..im new..this touched me deeply -
That's a really good poem.
I dunno what to say. My head hurts too much to think. Later...
-Beyond Da` (Awsome) Craziness -
Very nice, deep dark... Poem. I really like it. It tells one of those stories... I would suggest you change the last line. Tomb is a bad word, it just has awkward written all over it..
I really love this write... i dont know why. It's so dark and sad... And kinda... insane in a way...
Wonderful write
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That is absolutley excellent!!! if i could give u more than 3 applause i would!given it is fictional u done extremily well to put so much emotion into the piece. good job! xxx
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i thought it was great
the ending definantly took me by surprise...kind of spooky too...the rhyme was great
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wow
To have a need so bad, you accept it no matter what condition it is under, this is so poignoint and so wrenching. I almost feel a bit numb...Well done, very moving!
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perfect sad but perfect
the story here was superb .. i can feel the mothers pain through out and the injustice .. you realy gave the reader a heartful ... thanks
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this kind of poetry is sad when it based on fact,
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Wow! A very sad but touching tale of a mother's horrible grief. It gives me goosebumps. Nicely written! Patty
. Rewarded 4
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Holy cow. That is really good! That's like amazing! I don't even know what to tell you! Keep up the good work though!
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*In State of Shock*
Whoa..the only thing I can say is that I am SPEECHLESS (which is a very good thing) That was amazing. SO sad and very dark...but I LOVE IT
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