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When the curious finds himself face to face with a reflection of reality.

Once I looked at my reflection                          noitcelfer ym ta dekool I ecnO
for one brief moment                                              tnemom feirb neo rof
thought it was someone else.                              .esle enoemos saw ti thguoht
A better life maybe,                                              ,ebyam efil retteb A
I could be happy with her,                                  ,reh htiw yppah eb dluoc I
with you.                                                                    .uoy htiw
nice white picket fence                                        ecnef tekcip etihw ecin
two point three kids.                                            .sdik eerht tniop owt
A dog named Lucky,                                                  ,ykcuL deman god A
but most of all with you.                                    .uoy htiw lla fo tsom tub
So I tried to break through,                              ,hguorht kaerb ot deirt I oS
fist meets reality                                                  ytilaer steem tsif
pulls back shards--                                                --sdrahs kcab sllup
blood and disappointment.                                    .tnemtnioppasid dna doolb
Next time I'll strike quicker I think.          .kniht I rekciuq ekirts ll'I emit txeN

Author notes

demons prompt

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • dcoffeeaddict
    June 9, 2008

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    impressive, imaginative, and beautiful metaphor... your ideas flowed smoothly on how you wrote it... congratulations!!! very impressive poem
    ~dcoffeeaddict

  • Ankita DG
    June 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Love it! Really. I have never come across anything similar. The form, the style is great. I am in awe. Congrats on being a finalist. You deserve to win.

    Good luck.
    And keep writing.
    Ankita


  • Midgetbridgey
    June 8, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I love your style!
    it is new and original to me!

    congrats on being a finalist!


  • Midgetbridgey
    May 28, 2008
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    I will comment when the contest is finished
    Best of Lucky


  • nilav
    May 27, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    for one brief moment there is hope , then it plunges into disappointment...enjoyed reading it...


  • Embossed
    May 2, 2008

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    I am puzzled to express the emotion I get when reading this. At points you sound crestfallen at the loss of this other person, but at other points you almost sound sarcastically cynical about it (two point three kids)

    Either way, I enjoyed =)


  • Bloody Wonder
    April 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    hehe i saw your poem .. the way it was lid out i mean... XD thats so awesome XD haha but it was good and gave me an image

1 - 7 of 7