Day before dawn, slumber stills
movement but mind wanders upon a world
drenched in wonders, touching air
of deep sea blue, over lush valley greens
earth in ebony rainbows;
and I am eyes in the sky
sweeping low to wet my face in cool water;
rise high to dry in Sun
and the smile I feel is familiar.
Flying as I will cupping winds in my hands
lifting and falling when I please, fear
only that it will end before I come softly
to a place ever near, and she is the reason for wishes
a whisper starts my smile and a yawn
before daybreak brings fluttering
time and place, more whispers and
raising to a smile... feels so familiar.
In a list
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
-
I love the repeating line; so familiar; it works!
This is a beautiful awakening/waking poem.


-
Ha! Your first stanza brought to mind an image I've wanted to use for some time but have not yet found a placement warranting -- "with mind peaking out of things.."
An absolutely stunning ensemble my friend. A personal favorite moment of mine.
And I am envious of your talent. "she is the reason for wishes" is genius my friend. Well played.


-
Just gorgeous poetry, PK. Your images bring the surreal to a nearly tangible place. I love the dipping in the cool, deep sea blue, and the cupping the wind especially.
"fear only that it will end before I come softly to a place ever near, and she is the reason for wishes..." ahhhhhhhhh, so sweetly reaching.
whispers and smiles so familiar--I just love it!!!
You've really out done yourself here! -
Oh, my!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Perhaps I will be back later to write a more comprehensive comment, when I can get over what I have just read. Beautiful.

-
Beautiful metaphor, the color, emotion, movement, all-around spectacular write!


-
i'm floored away by this beautiful piece, PK!!! i swear, one day your works will be studied, turned and turned over again by fingers envy in green...i just know it!!! i rarely read works here, where i feel i need to and want to re-read it. this one really tickled something in my spirit. this reminds me of those stylistic poems written about watching over your lover in the break of dawn as they sleep. i can't remember what they're called. something like amad. :/ hmmm... anyway this was a gorgeous piece and you captured these brilliant moments with the perfect words!!!!
♥rianna
p.s. *bookmarked*

-
It's good that this poem ends with a smile, a "familiar" one. Dawn is my favourite time of day...and aah yes, those morning songs... the day is new and the possibilities are endless still... Lovely poetry... a sense of newness and freedom here that i very much enjoyed.
~ Nicolette


-
I have a feeling you are thinking more than you say here.
This has that way of, hm, how to say that...finding the best metaphor to the words that are in your mind.
What a wonderful way to start a day, and to have the first meal which, never forget, is the most important of the day.
Ah you h, can really write lovely lines, and make one wish to have those things too, or to cause that kind of reaction.
V^


1 - 8 of 8










Peteskid right now