In my leather trimmed office
above the bustle below
I imagine a life,
a different life,
the one that I dreamed
a long time ago.
Slippery decks and salt frosted glass
with taut
w h i s t l i n g
ropes shaken by wind.
Fighting with Neptune to capture his bounty
In a time tested vessel from old Plymouth County.
The captain's law
our only law,
never questioned or broken.
The Captain's hand
is our guiding hand...
our only shield beneath
punishing
Atlantic
fury.
Men would be grizzled and scarred from their battles;
my partners, my friends, my team and my brothers;
the only family we'd have while exiled from others.
We'd dance,
we'd fight,
we'd curse and laugh.
We'd pray for great fortune and saftey upon us
while crawling along the
r o l l i n g
and rollicking
road.
In my leather trimmed office
above the bustle below
I frown as I watch these unfulfilled dreams.
For in spite of my glory,
my money and fame,
I'd much rather live life
as a pawn in that game.
I'd endure every wave and dodge every danger
daring my way through sapphire adventures.
If I could do it again,
if I could only escape,
I'd test my true mettle upon those high seas.
by living and dying
with such musical apes.
Author notes
This was much, much harder than I thought it would be once I got to writing... but here it is. Since I was struggling with it, I tried some new things in terms of structure and form. Keeping my fingers crossed that it meets with approval.
A contest entry
- Random Titles...come inside and see for yourself! by Darianna.
400 points, ended May 30, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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It doesn't seem like you struggled at all with it! Yes, it does meet with approval, lots of it in fact! I really enjoyed the rhyming which seemed to reflect the boisterous nature and the calm of the sea. Also I enjoyed how to begin with the poem is quite brash and vivid and how it ends quite melancholy and almost sighing. I REALLY enjoyed the alliteration scattered throughout. I love it when it's done well, and here it really is! Some people overdo it, but you have scattered just enough through to keep it fresh and entertaining...not distracting.
I like the subject also...quite a reflective one, that I think most people can identify with if they are really honest with themselves. I know there are times in my life when I think I should've taken that risk instead of boxing myself into a safe secure place...tested myself a little more and stepped out of my comfort zone for once. However, I'm such a coward and always tend to let my nerves get the better of me...tsk...
Thank you for entering my contest! Sorry this has taken so long to judge!
Dari xxx
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Great job! I love how you organized the poem in such a cool way. Never really seen anything like it before. The poem was lovely and overflowing with imagery && metaphor! && I love metaphor!
Well all I have to say is, Perfect.
+ Jackie -
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Thanks so much for that great review. After the challenge I found in writing it to begin with, it is a joy to see others enjoying it so much. Thanks again...
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Excellent comparison on differences between the life many aspire to with its rewards, and the life not lived and its rewards.
For me, the most moving lines were "Men would be grizzled and scarred from their battles; my partners, my friends, my team and my brothers."
There is something about facing physical adversity together that is highly clarifying about who you can trust and count on, and who you cannot. Not something as readily clear in the business world or boardroom, where "situational ethics," climbing the corporate ladder, and interpersonal integrity are not always readily discerned. Interesting contrasts between a life much harder physically, but simpler emotionally and mentally, and its opposite. I enjoyed this.
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Many thanks for your kind and supportive words... it is deeply appreciated.
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How often have we all felt this way? You put into very strong words written with great skill. This was a deliteful reawd.
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It had quite a smooth rhythm to me Mark, so the structure I think works
We can all dream hey...Gosh you took this title and flew with it , a great tale within the words, great work
Hope you do well in the contest
Cin
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Not only approval dear sir, but admiration. This piece is for me what I believe to be the echo of many a heart of man who have tasted the fruits of "success" and yet have sacrificed or lost that burning dream for dangerous adventure. To be caught up in a fine journey and challenged as a man through storms and swells and to come out the conqueror with kin at his side.
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Lol...told you! Just too funny to miss right? Hee...
Dari xxx
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