I was hangin' in a club one night mindin' my own biz
When it suddenly occurred to me that I had to do a wiz
So I wandered off slowly in the direction of the john
Then had to stop and wonder 'What the hell is going on'
‘This is like a ladies loo, these men’s bladders are pathetic’
And I wondered if the club had laced the drinks with diuretic
So I battled through the crowd to get close enough to see
And realized with horror they were melting ice cubes with their pee
Although I was disgusted with this childish little game
I still whipped out my wang to put the other guys to shame
But alas my effort was appalling, I was disgusted with my tool
The guys all scoffed and laughed at me with shameless ridicule
So I’ve limited my liquid intake to concentrate my wee
I’ll run rings around the bastards next time, just you wait and see
So the next time I had the chance I made my way back to that club
I went straight to the mens toilets and right into the hub
And behold, those pile of icecubes lay steaming in a heap
I so impressed those losers, and my victory was sweet
I thought with satisfaction as I left and wandered home
I’ve never had such fun with my donger on my own
Author notes
Written after I discovered that ice is left in some mens urinals for them to aim at. Eeeuuuuwwww!!
In a list
A contest entry
- Almost anything goes! by EmeraldDaze.
425 points, ended June 8, 2008, 74 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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Awesome! Colin will be so proud of you, and Freud would be interested in furthering his research on penis envy. hahaha Very insightful for a POV work, I must say. I still prefer "trouser snake" to donger, though.
M
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Thanks so much for saying its awesome!! I wonder if C read it? I'm afraid i don't think trouser snake fits very well in that line, sadly!! Donger will have to do.
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CC isn't a member of this site so I wouldn't depend on him leaving a comment on this. I've been writing here for 6 years and the lousy, rotten bastard hasn't left me a single message.
Oh, wait a minute. He might read this, huh? I better not call him a shitheel or a douchebag or a butt plug. That wouldn't be nice anyway. haha
(Just kidding, Colin.)
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