i.
SEX
i always feel so unreal whenever i sit drinking by myself, it happens too often now
the bar is crowded and dark, and i am alone gasping for contact
noticing the quick transformation in people's faces if i look them in the eye
i keep my head down waiting for you to come, reading a book and
i am so young and inarticulate next to the sounds of conversation
so,
pretend i own a horse, a palomino
and i am riding to mexico to come find you, in an adobe house lying in a strangers bed
there are woven blankets hung over the window to keep out the daylight
but it shouts in through the corners
and in this day we will bathe eachother and run naked in the desert
its been two summers and every time the sun touches our backs we pray
ii.
PRAYER
prayer,
i don't believe
made a rosary one night out of pearl and cardboard
prayer,
i don't believe
sits on streetcars with clasped hands
and whispers
there is a basket of fruit that i carry with me in my rib cage, ripened avocado and pomegranates
my eyes are made of pomegranates
picked by the fingers of farmers wives and given to me in exchange for my winters
i ask the farmers why they chose this way,
they say "because she is wise and touches that which is in motion."
Santa Rosa here i come, your beautiful face vandalized with pepper and lye!
and on april 20th you were born!
iii.
GETTING HIGH
set your gods on fire and swallow them whole
A contest entry
- Poetic Idol (Auditions) by TwilightBloodRuns.
315 points, ended June 8, 2008, 31 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Ooh. I'm adding you to my favorites.
The imagery this had was astounding. I find myself getting lost in it. Very beautiful, in a number of ways.
I get high, but I don't really view it has a god, or a replacement for one. I feel sorry for the people that do, though. Buuuut I'm rambling. Another fantastic write.
Jeanette*~
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i like sex, it strings me along totally - a definite good thing.
and prayer, yeah
getting high, yes - excellent, fire and gods and non-feeling. i have done it, even on random occasions now
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i just remember sitting with some friends who all sort of live for smoking weed, and thinking about how for them their addiction was almost a religious devotion. Drug addiction being the need to leave normal consciousness strikes me as super similar to spiritual enlightenment, with the difference that instead of worshipping a God, it's a high. I don't know, it was a really long train of thought that really just resulted in me coming up with a line i loved. and i'm glad you like it and your interpretation of it made me re read it from another point of view, which was awesome. so thankyou thankyou thankyou!
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I did once.
brilliant, by the way.
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thankyou. thankyou. thankyou.
and, what did you do once? -
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iii.
GETTING HIGH
set your gods on fire and swallow them whole
(not that i'm really all that proud of it.) -
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i stopped, and since then i've liked my brain more. we get along better.
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me too.
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hmmm.
it isnt that bad, but it lacks a little emphasis.
THere are alot of metaphors and similes of the sort, and that helps, but it needs more techniques to shout out at the reader.
Try a bit of onomatapiea or something, and it may pay off...
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I am a self confessed metaphor addict. But onomatapiea? I'm interested to hear where you think that would fit in. I don't use that as a literary device often, so I have no concrete idea as to what context it could be put into this poem. thanks for the input.
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