it is
by Tao-
with breath
and tiny feet
the long walk
through burdens
of earth and sea
salt of life’s toil,
is but a brief
moment in time
before-
mind and soul
become in-sync
…with
_nothingness_
Author notes
to sum things up
A contest entry
- be by ArtFullyMe.
2400 points, ended May 25, 2008, 31 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
I like the way this weaves a subtle sense of 'self' into that first stanza..
the Tao, breath and tiny feet combine into a powerful visual symbol of patience..
the second, life, emotions, being
I found myself drawn to reading it without the 'salt of life's toil' line and 'in time' as nice as both are .. so I could savor the strength of :
the long walk
through burdens
of earth and sea
is but a brief
moment
before-
Great job weaving the two slightly conflicting themes of the contest together..
thank you
-
Profound depth in thought in this. However,I sure hope it's not indicative of truth in its final summation.Gritty and real in message.
-
Very true. You have a unique way of taking the reader from birth to death , (an entire lifetime) in so few words. I'm not sure I agree that when we die, there is "nothingness" Our housing, but our soul (our energy) goes on eternally. I could never write a poem as sadly beautiful as this, but I would not have ended it with the final word. Just my humble opinion. Thought I would peek at all those shiny trophies and read a poem. Will soon go back to lie down. Best wishes, my dear. I see tin here as well!
Love, Shana
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