We spoke
disarmingly
swapping pockets filled with ice money
honestly thinking
we could trust one another
crystal spider webs
laced the lantern hanging from the ceiling
like a silver chandelier
lighting clues
we paid no attention to
january windows
sparkled with crisp dew
and our fingers
traced their secrets
across its thinnest glass
our sleeping bodies
floated through the frozen cavern maze
as we dreamt of pillows
kissing pillows
and you kissing me
only when the nightmare began
did we think to wonder
'what's the difference
between a whisper
and a warning'
but by then it was too late.
Author notes
when you're not so meant to be
In a list
A contest entry
- Shatter by CarolDesjarlais.
525 points, ended April 30, 2008, 13 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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amazing!
it deserves the gold it has, and more so, this is quite beautifully written thank you for sharing it with us!
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Excellent
I believe total honesty is the most important criteria for a successful relationship. Others are important, but totally dependable honesty is essential.
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Wow so deserving of the gold this is beautiful
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awwww its beautiful...
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wow
i realy like it -
this is a really great write! I love the imagery and like the commenter below believe this is worthy of publishing...I would certainly buy it Thanks for writing and sharing and congrats on the gold!
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this is publishable, in my opinion, congrats on the gold, you deserved it for this one.
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Well Deserved Gold
You have written here what I fail to verbalize. Perfection is not easy to come by & harder to recognize. Congratulations on your win - I look forward to reading more of your work. Best of Luck!
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This is such a beautiful, amazing, heartwrenching write. You have done so well here and the imagery is wonderful. "honestly thinking we could trust one another". This is so true when we first fall for someone. This is so great and congratulations on winning the gold trophy, you really deserve it.
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C'est magnifique ...
and really there's not a lot more that need be said. Congrats on the Gold trophy.
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This poem offers beautiful and fanciful imagery. I love the line 'what's the difference between a whisper and a warning.' I really felt connect to that line on many levels. I made me think of many things that relate to the poem. I love the title and just the whole poem is really great. thank you
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haha, who called it?
oh! it waaaas me wasnt it! hahah, congrats
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Congrats on the win and many kudos conveying the process of such failings. I think sometimes we get confused with being in-love and loving someone.
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Oh, this is simply an outstanding poem...what iamges...you fulfilled the shattering image in so many ways. thank you so much for entering this...nice off-the-edge write.
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