Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Leaf Song

Crushed velvet ribbon
enfolds me with his
morning voice, his
shy smile reluctantly
solemn, a ghost
infrequent, unhesitating
he laughs, the touch of
red crisp tongue on
paper lips,
the smell of his
soul, I taste
him fragmented.

Author notes

This is an old poem, written about 3 years ago. The title derives from the conception of writing for a poetry tree. We were given paper leaves and this is what I wrote in a few minutes. I think it's about the subject of most of my work, they usually are.

    I plan to revise this poem, please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • myron silver member
    August 16

    Edit | Reply

    interesting

    an interesting poem

    not quite sure what to make of it - which is maybe not really any cause for concern.

    nice imagery.

    best wishes,
    myron.
  • TheRose
    August 16

    Edit | Reply
    Interesting write, I'm not sure what comes to mind for me is what is meant though, and that too is how poetry should be - a different vision for each reader. It speaks to me of unrequited love, perhaps with a singer or radio personality - perhaps it's the recorded voice of a deceased loved one - whose picture is caressed while his secret lover listens to his disembodied voice. It speaks of life and love continuing, although the title seems a little incongruous. Nicely done.

  • PerfectTonight
    August 15

    Edit | Reply
    This was simply delightful! First of all, it flowed really well and the word usage was very effective in painting an image that is very sensual and beautiful.

    . Rewarded 4


  • NurseyPoo
    July 29

    Edit | Reply
    What a wonderful way to think of the morning after. I love the words and the picture you painted with a few well chosen ones. You have a very nice write here. Pen on...

    . Rewarded 4


  • DanielleNicole
    July 12

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful poem the beginning was just amazing and it flowed well through the peom.I love the line "Crushed velvet ribbon enfolds me with his morning voice".It's mysterious which i love in a poets writing.

  • kitty23
    May 27

    Edit | Reply
    wow
    very interesting
    thank you for posting this poem on my contest
    holds a different outlook on love
    nice style
    very unique
    thank you once more

    keep up the great work and thank you for sharing this with me and my co judge

    Kitty23

  • delightfulmess gold member
    May 13
    Edit | Reply
    Very unique!!
    Thank you for entering this piece into my contest.


    Delila


  • pinkheart17
    May 10
    Edit | Reply
    interesting, a different take on love
    thanks for entering

  • xCandieKissesx
    May 10

    Edit | Reply
    Nice style! The romance pace sent chills down my spine! I love the flow and imagery. It painted a picture in my mind. A background would have been ideal for this piece. Great job! Good luck in my contest!

    + Jackie

  • Li snuffles
    May 3
    Edit | Reply
    Loved your style in this poem

    it was really enjoyeable to read

    good luck in my contest...xoxoxo

  • Papagallo
    April 29
    Edit | Reply
    Darn, Good luck in the contest.
  • Papagallo
    April 29

    Edit | Reply
    well it may well be love, but it is a little dark and mysterious. This seems to be a love or making love with a dead person. Maybe a little vampire here. Of course, I may be far off. Anyway, it is an interesting piece of work.

1 - 12 of 12