My fond heart
simmers in your absence.
Unlike the feeble fire
of tiny candles
extinguished by
exhaled breaths,
I am smoldering embers
enkindled to mighty blaze
by panting promises
of your return.
Author notes
prompt: "Dreams", by Langston Hughes.
Based on the saying "Absence makes the heart grow fonder."
A contest entry
- Langston Hughes - quick contest by Peteskid.
1200 points, ended May 5, 2008, 15 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Just stopping by
to wish you congrats on a lovely poem. Frans -
Once again, so beautifully done, Liz. Congrats on the bronze, chic!
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congrats on the bronze.
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"I am smoldering embers
enkindled to mighty blaze
by panting promises
of your return."
a very beautiful metaphor...best of luck in the contest..
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A profound statement to begin the poem with. The metaphor attracts immediate attention. While absence makes the heart grow fonder, I could not stop myself to think that if we would care to understand the 'mighty blaze' within others, what wonders there would be in for each of us. Each metaphor a journey into learning about the human soul! Frans
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You rock, girl! Done with such perfect artistry.
Love it.
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Simple but efffective metaphor here, the fire and embers that burn even when a person is far from our eyes, it smolders. Well done. Love, C
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a wonderful expressive metaphor of the embers, waiting for someone a feeling that most will relate to quite easily, and the blaze and promise bring other elements, simple and powerful use of words here...Thank you for this fine entry into the contest and best of luck in the judging...PK
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