The dawning day and birthing light
lay heart at ease and tame the night,
drive darkened image from my sight
as nightmare visions take to flight.
One day awaits when all are blessed.
Two roads to take, but which is best?
Three stars, a shining light is cast.
Four dimensions frame the past.
Five senses gather all within.
Six days until we pray again.
Seven deadly sins to bear.
Eight flags are flying in the air.
Nine months from love to new life born.
Ten ways to earn a lover's scorn.
The aging day and dying light
bring warning of the coming night.
The colors fading from my sight
as nightmares once again take flight.
A contest entry
- Give me your best non-trophy. by lilblueeyesmine1978.
425 points, ended May 8, 2008, 27 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - personal favorite by Virgoan.
2000 points, ended June 9, 2008, 64 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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Well my brother,
You have caught lighting in a bottle with this one.
End rhyming poems are difficult ..just for the fact that interest is seldom held.
Not so with this piece,
you have filled the space between the rhyming words with stunning cleaver wit.
There is a strong presence to your pieces...a classic wonderment that captures the reader.
Almost approaches on the peripheral side of the brain...seeping in with deeper meaning with each read.
A masterpiece!
Blessings my brother,
LOWELL.
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this was so unique with the monorhyming stanzas and the countdown.. or count up i guess.
to be able to keep the rhyming going like that while still making a point in the poem is difficult to do.
well done.
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One day awaits when all are blessed.
Two roads to take, but which is best?
Three stars, a shining light is cast.
Four dimensions frame the past.
Five senses gather all within.
Six days until we pray again.
Seven deadly sins to bear.
Eight flags are flying in the air.
Nine months from love to new life born.
Ten ways to earn a lover's scorn.
Tjis is wonderful. I will bw adding to the finalsits lsit. The first two lines remind me of robert frost. -
Wonderful
My day has started off great because I have just read another great piece. There is hope with poets such as yourself sharing your talents on AP. Ty so much
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I really enjoyed the beat this poem seemed to play and carry as I was reading it. Each day does seem to give us a new path to follow...I do so hate the nightmare! best to you in the contest. ~blessings always~ Trisha
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PERFECT!
This TRULY should win a trophy! How clever in execution and in tone.
Well done, Poet.
Love
Myra
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hehehe i ma laughing my head off head off here i meant to say humble but mumble works well too
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Hahahahahahaha
you mumbling humble one!
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a good poem, i enjoyed the rhtyhm here, i had no interruptins when i was reading it in my mind so all good in my mumble one
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Oh I can definitely relate to this!!! Especially the two paths bit... I am there right now!
Fab write!!
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Beautiful poem about life as we know it. Only complaint I have is the use of "vision" twice in the first stanza. Otherwise this was amazing, and definitely a joy to read. good luck in the contest you've entered!
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You are quite right, and thank you for drawing my attention to that. I don't know how I could have missed such a glaring flaw. I went back and made a slight edit to erase that error.
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Nonetheless, this poem is beautiful either way. =]
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