I'll be forgotten like yesterday's news

Is the love lost?
Or am I just inept?
Can I love you like you deserve?
Sorry for all this pain I've caused you
Sorry doesn't always fix things,
But yet I say:
Sorry for leaving
Sorry for my fucked up mind
Sorry for not knowing what I want
And I'm sorry for being scared!
I know that I love you,
Or at least I think I do
There's always that saying
'You can't love someone fully unless you love yourself'
I don't love me,
How can I love you?
I know this seems inaccurate
Like something half finished
Like the life that never lived
I know now what I didn't know then
I'm a sketchy person
I horrible one
Possibly the worst there ever was
I can't keep like this
I can't live like this
I need an escape and I've found the perfect way
It may only hurt
For a day or two
Then you'll get over it like yesterday's news.
Here is my plan
My perfect way to end
First I will go to the places where i think of you
The places that we went together
For your presence is there and that hurts me more
I will take a rope
I will take my blade
I'll string my rope
On the highest pole
Then I'll take the blade and make some cuts,
'Cause that always helped
At least for a little while
Then I'll write you this poem,
And letter for everyone else
Of how I just couldn't be happy
About anything else
Then once that is finished
I'll take some pills
You know the kind that make you phlegmatic
Then I'll get up high and lift that rope way over my head
I'll jump down and break my neck
The pain will end and you'll be free!
Don't worry about me
I'll be dead!
This is the best way
I'll be gone
Please don't grieve over my half finished life
I was put on earth for it to be this way
You'll pain will only last for a day or two
Then I'll be forgotten like yesterday's news