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Once upon a time....

Crowds united against me,
hurtful words thrown at a weakened soul
I perished, surrendered to the power in numbers.

Days fighting, un-feed
my body had long since given out on me.
Captured to be tortured,
not knowing how to find the strength again.

My people came, stood round me
gave willingly all that was needed.
Together, the battle raged
and victory become ours
as we united as one.

Author notes

Unity umong the cattle makes lion lie down hungry...is the prompt

So Mark...Not sure if you love it or hate it lol...But I love it so regardless, of course

Sort of did a twist of taking the proverb..having it there in the beginning but having it turn around having whoevers peoples help them rise up, and then they fight together united

So hope you enjoy

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A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • lowercase prelude gold member
    July 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This was awesome

    A great write. Your word choice really helped capture what you were trying to say here


  • poppa
    May 2, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Congrats on your gold... love the proverb...


  • Amera gold member
    May 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Congrads on the gold! I see why this won... powerful and thought provoking. What a wonderful take on the prompt.

    Love,
    Amera


  • Mark McNulty
    April 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I think it is great. A very nice submission that you came up with and a very enjoyable read. I think you really did the prompt justice, and I apologize if it took much blood, sweat, and tears to get it there. I'll know a bit more when planning the next contest.... make it a bit more flexible perhaps.


    • MaMa-2-be-Cindy
      May 1, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you and thanks for the gold, I am honored

      A rough start did give me a great finished piece, I am quite happy with it..but do wish you better luck in your next contest too...many more entries



      Cin

1 - 7 of 7