Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Summer’s Keeper

Missing image

Summer’s Keeper

When I looked at my wrist to tell the time,
the big hand had brushed, the small one away.
It was half past spring, almost summertime;
“about eighteen o’clock”; I heard it say.
I knew it was soon that old watch would chime.
I could not be late, I must make my way.
I ran down the path, I flew like the breeze,
I tripped once or twice and skinned both my knees.

When I finally got there, I saw the old fox,
he said with a stare; “what took you so long”?
I cried and I said; “I tripped on some rocks”.
In reply he said; “it’s here, you belong;
it’s time to let summer out of its box”.
“I’ve waited for this, almost all yearlong”.
I smiled and said; “I know you are right
and our summer shall start, this very night”.

I reached in my dress and took out the key,
on a golden chain that hung ‘round my neck.
All the wood creatures waited anxiously.
I slid the key in and wiggled to check.
When the box popped open, we all could see;
It flew out with a whirl, we all hit the deck!
So goes the story of summer that year,
If I had been late, it would disappear.

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

Art Work by: crystalglaze

Ottava Rima:
An Ottava Rima is a poem written in 8-line octaves. Each line is of a 10 or 11 syllable count in the following rhyme scheme:
one octave poem. abababcc
two octave poem. abababcc, dededeff
three octave poem. abababcc, dededeff, ghghghii

A contest entry

Comments:

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression? Line numbers
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?) (Line numbers)

Comments

1 - 15 of 15
  • Thank you for this one Amera, it was charming, beautiful and happy all the things I need right now to make me smile. I loved your version of the origins of Summer, so much nicer than...it follows Spring and comes before Autumn!!

    All the best...

    Love
    Sue

  • This is a wonderful fantasy poem, and Allan would have been thrilled to beat it, but he can't claim that because the other poem you entered means this wasn't considered fopr a top three spot.
    Beautiful fantasy, great execution rhyme and flow as we always want. loved it.
    In the words of a well known poetry judge on this site (me) Not Bad !!!


  • penman gold member
    May 6

    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    wow, what an incredible Ottava Rima. As usual you are the Queen of form and still holding the crown. Best of luck in the contest.


  • Ithica silver member
    May 5

    Edit | Reply
    This was so entertaining! I was lovin' every minute of this wonderful fantasy adventure... And I found myself just hoping it wasn't "Pandora's Box" ready to wreak havoc!!! I like that you carried the "Summer" in your box... Can you drop by my neighborhood and end the freakish cold??? Even a couple of days of "Spring" would be nice!! {Grrr! Too much rain up here!!!]


  • Legend silver member
    May 4
    Edit | Reply
    Excellent is all that needs to be said about this one


  • MJ Donnelly gold member
    April 29

    Edit | Reply
    A most delightfully entrancing story this be
    In fact, it brought a smile and much glee,
    The premise was magical if I may be so bold
    And I'm all too ready to bid farewell to the cold.

    I Live in Alaska, and winter seems to be hanging on here, so I really enjoyed this Amera, best of luck in the contest.


    Love and peace always,
    mj.

  • HOLEY MOLEY!
    Nobody can write in strict forms like you, nobody can write like you, and most importantly, nobody else can do both of these things and still manage to create an image, a story, a fascinating write, like you.
    You are in a category all your own when it comes to poetry (and life in general). Seriously, you are so advanced with form and style that you stand alone as the poet of the highest caliber on this site.
    I am very proud of you, Sis.
    Good luck in the contest, but you never need luck - you have real talent and skill.


  • malmadre gold member
    April 29

    Edit | Reply
    These are lovely images of summer, with a keeper assigned to open the box..magical with a fairytale quality and a beautiful structure.


  • Tender wolf gold member
    April 29

    Edit | Reply

    MAGICAL

    Such a wonderment flowing from your golden pen...magic dancing in every line...and the feelings of anticipation waiting upon the Summer to arrive...My sweet little form Queen you have done it again...winner wrote all over it~


  • ariosto gold member
    April 29

    Edit | Reply
    Yours poems show that classical form is nut drudgery to learn or slavery to follow. They are delightful, they are the bones that all else is built on. When I taught art I told my students that you cannot be a good painter unless you know how to draw. The analogy fits in poetry as well.

    Lovely piece

    love
    \D

  • What a wonderful and whimsical poem on the origin of summer. It is lovely, charming, funny and entertaining on so many levels. Bravo!


  • moonbumps silver member
    April 29
    Edit | Reply
    Enchanting to the end.....mmm...
    xxx Hilly
  • A very entertining read, great imagery...a wonderful flow from the form and great rhyming

    Good luck darl


    Cin

1 - 15 of 15