Roughing out the framework
for what might be border-line sopranos,
I open the apartment door
to where my teeth live rent-free.
The limb on sidewalk's casting,
that moves with graveyard wind;
or solemn knocking on my panes
might flick the adrenaline switches.
First reaction comes in the form
of sucked-in oxygen matter.
The fists to more than likely clench,
after the cornea exposes white clothes.
In respectable churches, I might've
covered my mouth in pure manners.
Yet aside from last year's germanium,
and an old flag, etiquette sleeps.
Imagine the damage wreaked on cording,
with exfoliating decibels breaking barriers.
Maybe twice expelling, louder the second,
if haunted by a real apparition.
Alas, once again duped...
just a garbage bag drifting
while the steamboat's skeleton
taunts, by the bay dock.
Author notes
prompt:
what triggers a scream?
In a list
A contest entry
- What is Unwritten? by Sprite.
1000 points, ended May 4, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
RyanosaurusWrecks
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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Merveilleux ...
and your cheering section seems to agree. There are some really good lines here, and some excellent imagery to boot. Sometimes I wonder how you do so well with this sort of writing.
It would take a whole case of Purple Haze for me to do it.
Kudos on a job well done. -
Superb
A very fine write, indeed. You express your thoughts quite well. Thanks for sharing this one with us. Again, well done.
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Seems like your ...
cheering section has said everything that could actually be said about this, so I'll just say "good job". I suspect Bukowski would have been proud of you.
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Excellent immagery here... very creepy indeed
I love the terminology you used in some lines - very immaginative.
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Reread. Thanks again. ~ Joyce
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this is good.
really good.
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I like your style of writing. It has the fell of impromptu ideas but I suspect it is thoughtfully laid out.I especially like the lines: "to where my teeth live rent-free," and "sucked in oxygen matter." I also like the images as in "the cornea exposes white clothes." I can see that in my head. (Well, I'm a bit odd...)
I enjoyed reading. Thanks for entering. ~ Joyce
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yeah i am speechless... i had no idea until the very end... and even then... i think i could have taken it somewhere else... i love versatility... thank you for sharing your work... great write and a great read...
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WOW!
I'm speechless. I can visualize this so clearly! I've never heard screaming described so well. Amazing!
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Whoa. . .I've never seen a poem quite like it. You are by far the most insane and awesome poet I know. I like this one and I liked your last stanza best of all. Great work!
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I can imagine exfoliating decibels, I have never screamed in fear... only anger and hopefully not that loud..
Lots of metaphor in this one...
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That was so cleverly done!
Wasn't that just wild..how he pieced this together,
blending the imageries upon each line.
Loved it..........absolute feast of a screaming delight!
Applause-Applause-Applause, this was hard to do i bet!
way to write!
ears/Seattle granny.
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thank you very much...youre too nice
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