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Wait


With every grasping breath
he stares into pitholes
which he dug in solitude
as solemn rain splashed
on naked masks borne
without blind intuition.


Everything about him
resembles nothing
no one
not his son
nor his daughter.
  Replicating an imagery
  of holding two infants
  as they grew up
  some more beliefs
....a joy of life.



  Then,
    the wrinkles
    like skin mashed
    into frustrated conclusions
    ~an abandonment~
        everything again
            shattering.


In thoughts
I believe to be this way
when my blood splits
..an hemmorage
  clotting in sick repercussions.


  He stares at me and says
    'Dear daughter! One cannot understand
    the pain of condemnation till they
      go through it.'


His wrinkles sigh
  and the agony vomits.

  And all I could do was wait.






Author notes

Prompt: Oldman

These days we abandon our parents because we are to busy in making our own lives. This poem delves into the perspective of the man and the daughter.

Thanks for reading.

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Comments

1 - 22 of 22

  • trekkergirl silver member
    January 31

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    I agree with the AN we are to busy to take care of yet alone listen to our older generations. It is sooo hard to take care of the elderly as well as a growing family work and then everything else. Sometimes it is sooo much easier to but them away... in a nursing home... where strangers can see to their needs... that is IF they too have time. Good write.

  • KrissyRachele
    January 30
    Edit | Reply
    its very sad and poetically beautiful

  • couldbeworse
    January 30

    Edit | Reply
    I loved the form and flow you used here. we will all get old someday...most of us just forget that when dealing with the elderly.


  • morgana raven Greeters member
    January 29

    Edit | Reply
    I love the way this was set out, its so visually appealing. Very well written, your words well chosen and well placed. The tone of the poem was set very well, and seemed very... for lack of a better word i'll steal the one from the comment below mine, 'moving'
    Great write.
    Laura


  • mysticstorm gold member
    May 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very moving and deeply written...something for everyone to read and think very hard about...it is a sad time when we give up on our parents and leave them in such a state...very powerful...thank you for sharing!
  • Titanium gold member
    May 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    quite sad, and the wording of wrinkles tells me that there may have been ridicule from you and regret that give you this guilt complex for some reason or the other. But love goes deeper than just being misconstured, nice insight.

  • JWGoethe
    April 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Excellent. Reflective and powerful. The first stanza brings to mind perfectly an old man looking back over their life, and wondering.

  • In Too Deep1 gold member
    April 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is a well penned sketch of one of life's realities. Wonderful flow and imagery.

    It is sad that we lose worth of the wise. Peering from the creased soul, weighted by time... windows lifted speak of hardships, pain, and joy and fervor. Wisdom lance lips, revealing journeyed paths... in attempt to pass on secret avenues to ease of life. Treasures often rejected by all knowing, deaf youths.. who choose to trod barefoot through thickets of forest. Unlike our likeness, we swear away from gentle breeze in hopes of weathering storms for the sake of experience. Much like the man in your piece, my father passed on the curiosities that lead to appreciations of life and living. Still today, I explore, and of each adventure, I learn that I too, am alive. Enjoyable read. Best wishes in the comp.


  • The-Phoenix
    April 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    "Then,
    The wrinkles
    Like skin mashed
    Into frustrated conclusions
    ~an abandonment~
    Everything again
    Shattering."

    That part flowed so very nicely. Plus, I just really loved the way that it sounded.

    This poem seems a lot longer than the normal poems you write. It held my attention the entire way through though and I found it a very interesting read.

    Wonderful flow, imagery, and characterization.

    Love it.

    ~Megan

    • phoenixonfire
      April 29, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      I usually write longer ones but with the quickies coming up...I lost touch!! Thanks..I am glad u liked it!!

      pri

  • Manoj Sanyal
    April 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    excellent and heartfelt...


  • penman gold member
    April 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Wonderful

    Very well done. A great creation for the prompt. best of luck in the contest.


  • mysticstorm gold member
    April 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    As long as you wish, just please keep my attention...lol
    :
1 - 22 of 22