To write words that weep,
he said,
do more than let the ink seep
in soft descent to parchment
to be absorbed passively
let each phrase rend the page
with pointed lines that hurt the eyes
dig deep,
salvage hidden words from covering earth
let them shiver, naked and afraid, for a while
guide their passage
encourage them to organize, perhaps to smile
but don’t cleanse them of the residue
of all they’ve been through
let them cry, comfort, bite, seduce, rage,
confuse, judge, worship, sing lies and spew truth
as if everything
or nothing
is at stake
throw them, smash them, cradle them
love them
but let them live
Author notes
Prompt: "If you do not breathe through writing, if you do not cry out in writing, or sing in writing, then don't write, because our culture has no use for it. "
Anais Nin
A contest entry
- Writing by CarolDesjarlais.
875 points, ended April 29, 7 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 72 of 72
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This is extremely powerful, and I am honored to share this earth with you. =]
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Powerful...inticing and insightful, these words have said a mouthful. Richly, nicely seasoned; I think letting them marinate isn't a bad idea... Love this piece poetess. Very smartly done.
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Thank you, I am so glad you enjoyed it!
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This is a revelation in and of itself... Wonderful poetry and the GOld was well deserved!!! You never waste anyones time, I assure you!!!
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Thanks, Cia! You're so kind
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This is wonderful poetry, and it's more than just a poem about writing; it is a lovely and subtle way to write sadness and hurt. The 5th stanza was my favourite - loved that stanza. Indeed... we should allow words to breathe by themselves too, to keep their "pulse", otherwise it's only words; and that is just what you've done here.
A gorgeous poem.
~ Nicolette
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Breathless
I LO_AMO the title Words that weep, my hat of to you with a feather in it. Job exsquisitely expressed from the deep emotions of your being. SALUTE!!!!!!!! -
I believe it was Thomas Mann who wrote of the pain of creativity for the writer (Death in Venice). You have expressed that same sentiment here, and very well. Excellent write.
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I like what's going on here...keep writing...
favorite line: "let each phrase rend the page
with pointed lines that hurt the eyes"
very passionate
. Rewarded 4
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An amazing write...such a poem is so deserving of the Gold and recognition! Congrats!
Az
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This reflects perfectly my personal philosophy of poetics.; if you have no intention of making the reader feel and experience the words in their own soul, then your efforts are wasted.
Awesome read, Malig
Erik
. Rewarded 4
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Amazing
You did an amazing. Job it is so complex, yet easy to grasp from a writers perspective. This makes me thik about how wonderful writing truely is and all the emotions it captures good job.
. Rewarded 4
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Well i certainly agree with Carol...a gold worthy poem here; sometimes it seems that a writer engages in a conversation with some deeper reflection, with someone or in some place, where pretense fades and we speak what we truly feel...excellent work here...PK
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words that weep,words that cry
words that laugh ,words that smile
words that hurt,words that heal
words pregnant with a world of passion
is all the poets' weapon
to fight,to conquer human mind and heart......
congrats on the well-deserved trophy -
Nice Peice Here Of Writeing!
I really like the way you used your wording here it tells everything about what Poetry is all about.As I also personally believe that writeing is a way of releasing,letting go, as well as feeling comforted. When all else fails we still have our mind that release's through our Poetry ! Excellent Way Of Wording As Well As Use Of Words!!! Brenda Gae
. Rewarded 6
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omfg
Just...crikey mate!
Wow...
WOW!
This piece is...bordering on indescribable - but not quite.
It is rich and beautiful, effervescent and incredibly, incredibly alluring.
It is a wonderful culmination of expression, technique and vision being at once placid and meaningful, but also intense and passionate.
A gift to AP by a gifted poet... a title not many who bear it truly deserve. But you do. Congratulations.
. Rewarded 8
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Absolutely fantastic
I am very passionate about writing...it has always been at the center of my soul...I gravitated to this piece because the title caught my eye and WOW! I just love this and it is absolutely fANTASTIC!!! Lots of talent shines thru here, but most of all a passion and authentic love of writing is everlastingly present. This is surely a winner and thank you for sharing this! Whew....all the best to you!
. Rewarded 8
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this piece is breathtakingly original, a pleasure to read. congrats on the well deserved gold!
Keira
-- pink.glitter.hearts -
excellent advice to strengthen
all our poetic souls, poems and lives!
This is when writing is releasing and amazing to do!
well done poet! smartly written and wise truth through
and through!
ears/Seattle BRAVO! BRAVO! -
yes without these words without these emotions things wouldnt be the same and we would not learn from our mistakes....
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HOLY COW.
i did not breath while READING. this is very good. i do not exactly know why, all i know is that i loved it alot. i might add this poem to my favorites so i might read it again at a later date. this,
this is magic.
you have something i couldnt even dream about,
and i cant even put my little finger on it.
. Rewarded 6
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This was fabulous ~ an absolutley stunning write ~
richly deserved gold ~ the structure and words were brilliant
s Lib x x
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AMAZING
such an astounding piece, showing the true character of what writings should be like. the part that really stood out to me, and it probably my favorite, is "let them cry, comfort, bite, seduce, rage,
confuse, judge, worship, sing lies and spew truth
as if everything
or nothing
is at stake"
. Rewarded 6
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The only thing
The only thing that felt, out of place, was the title. I thought it may be depressing, but, it's really not (even if talking about depressing poetry). This poem shows pashion. It pushes for raw expression, something that I am all to eager to agree with. My own poetry seldom gets re-written. I write in the moment and there it lives and stays.
And your words feel not only to endorse it, but to demand it. Very very cleaver write. Well done, one to be proud of.
. Rewarded 8
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It was the rhyming that really got me, the rhyme and the linebreaks, both exquisitely done. A lovely read and very worthy of a gold. I'm glad I had a chance to read this.
Cheers for the read!
. Rewarded 4
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yes, a very good description of the requirements of pouring forth and wringing out the emotions into words that bite home.
'guide their passage
encourage them to organize, perhaps to smile
but don’t cleanse them of the residue
of all they’ve been through'
. Rewarded 6
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wonderful poetry at its best you used metaphore well and alitaration and not to mention the flow i loved this it was a pleassure to read and well deserved gold
. Rewarded 4
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EXCELLENT
words that weep...
lots of feeling..
amazing all the way around. -
This was outstanding. So well deserving of the Gold.
Your thoughts are clear yet there is a complexity to their meaning which allows the reader to look deep into their souls and truly feel your words.
I am bookmarking this...
Great job and congratulations.
Soulful Woman
. Rewarded 6
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I think this is beautiful! Excellent! I can see why you won the Gold. The few poems I've read here about writing, are not of this caliber. Whoever judged this contest knows good poetry. I think I will bookmark this.
. Rewarded 4
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This shows what poetry should really be, and you did an excellent job of conveying your ideas. Great imagery aswell, well done x
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Such an elegant expression of all that serious
poetry should be! You birth an intense emotion
here and do it seemingly without effort. Amazing
discovery of verse combined with real feeling.
Blue
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DAMN! Impressive! Captures the essence of the prompt eloquently, tangibly, succinct and wonderfully worded.
Bravo!
until exhale,
Grimoire
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I love poems on poetry, and the process of writing, and you have captured that difficult process brilliantly. Congratulations on the well-deserved gold, and thank you for a work of passion and power that confirms why we keep doing this engaging thing - because we must.
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Most amazing poem that is creative in the brilliance of words that flow.
A worthy winner of gold
keep penning
Julie
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This was brilliant, such a wonderful use of compelling language. I felt your passion in every line. You have taken Nin's words and given them fire. Your poem sings and cries. I am happy it was featured on the homepage so that it can be enjoyed and appreciated by everyone. Congratulations on the gold trophy. It was much deserved. Peace, Liz
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Outstanding, this is just outstanding writing and holds all the truths about writing we must let the words tell the story through imagery and don't hold back when writing as I see to many time what I call sugar-coating the truth I will have to bookmark this one and will be by your page to read more... P.S. I found this in the spotlight...
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An absolute powerful write and no surprise to me that this fine work won gold. Love, Lane
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Beautiful
I absolutely LOVE this poem! I was really taken in right from the start. I'm going to be an English teacher, so I just took a class about teaching poetry and in the class we talked about making ordinary language into poetic language. This reminded me of that.
I love the line "let them shiver, naked and afraid, for a while"
Brilliantly done.
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Brilliant.
I love poems that inspire. This poem flows so smoothly its as if it were a meditation. Breathe for today, thank you.
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just brilliant
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Well Penned
I do like your concept here with this poem. the prompt is very unusual but quite a nice take you have penned here from it. your wording rings true and well your over all form and complexity to this poem is very good. any ways enjoyed the read and evidentally the judge did too. congratulations on the Gold and keep up the good work
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A truly inspiring piece, where words ae no longer just words but emotions in themselves.
do more than let the ink seep
in soft descent to parchment
to be absorbed passively
let each phrase rend the page
with pointed lines that hurt the eyes
Such an amazing choice of words. A gold trophy very well deserved.
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Hi:
An awesome write, very deserving of the gold.....
This piece is thought provoking, and deep.....
Thank you for sharing with me on this site.....
Keep on penning.....
Blessed be with love and light always.....
AngelicMistress...Tanya
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Wow.
This poem is amazing, totally deserved the Gold.
I know exactly how you feel but would never be able to express it so eloquently.
"salvage hidden words from covering earth
let them shiver, naked and afraid, for a while"
I absolutely adore these two lines.
They are so beautiful.
So true.
This poem just speaks the truth.
Well done.
Keep writing!
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this is an excellent poem on writing..
I love these lines:
"dig deep,
salvage hidden words from covering earth
let them shiver, naked and afraid, for a while"
congrats on the gold & your spotlight..
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I know that you have won with this poem and it is lovely. Strong in subject and expression. Very true too.
However, I would have preferred the list (of what poetry can do) to be shorter. The length affected the flow for me. I also feel that if a poem is going to have any punctuation in it, then there should also be periods...but that could just be me!
Congratulations on gold~ Joyce
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This was an excellent write. It is so true on how when we put a pen to paper, or type letters on our computers, we must insure that we are honest with ourselves and to others about what we really believe and think. Super description, i really enjoyed the brutal honesty in this poem. The length was perfect, and you communicated all that you wanted to say through your careful, flowing choice of words!
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I think this is a very good write. You are a good writer; very passionate. Keep up the good work!
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well said...and wisely taught......
I hope we all treasure the new writers that come onto
this sight...remember too...our wrestling and struggling
to allow the words out...and then be astonished at
what you actually wrote..confessing and revealing the
dual nature of our hopes, dreams, fears, joys, stress...
I remember being afraid to hit the submit button,
and fearful and shy of the comments.
and SHOCKED...at how other poets could open eyes inside,
and pull out denials that I would never want to confront.
Huge thankyou for writing this poem!
There are many..many..many poets who have rebirthed
joy and freedom to us in their poems!
ears/Seattle
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That is a great poem.I love it so much! KEEP WRITTING!
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Whoo Hoo!
Can definitely see why you won gold on this one! Beautiful job, and something we all try to express, but simply do not. YOU DO! Awesome!
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I absolutely loved this piece! It was really powerful, and, truthful. I am utterly speechless on how to really describe it!
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Powerful take on words. This is the truth to word usages, it is power, weakness, fear, courage, comfort, passion, songs, emotion strung as pearls to feel each one differently. Well deserved gold trophy.
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Breathtaking
This poem took my breath away. I'm so glad that poetry like this exists in the world. Your imagery is so concise and powerful. Thanks for making my day. -
This is magnificent, Mallie, and oh so true. May we all aspire to write as you have described. Wonderfully done!
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Wonderfully done, sister. Love the concept. Where did you dig this thing up? I don't sing, but singers say that it comes from the gut. Something pulls in them. Now, I imagine that it's more than their diaphram, throat, and box. But everyone has that, still everyone can't sing. Hmmm.. What can I compare this to? Well, if you saw "The Matrix" then you're ate the part where Neo just discovered that he can move in ways to avoid bullets. Write on, sis.
One.
Dez
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Thanks! Wow, Neo! That has to be one of the best compliments ever.
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Outstanding title for an outstanding write! I love your "salvage hidden words...let them shiver, naked and afraid, for a while," and "but don't cleanse them of the residue of all they've been through!"
Beautiful description of the kind of writing I aspire to in you final three lines. This was entirely delicious! Brilliant write from the prompt. I throw roses at your feat!
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Thank you so much, especially for the roses at my feat!
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This is certainly GOLD worthy! The writer in me stands on her feet to applaud all that is written here. I am nearly speechless. That in and of itself speaks volumes in my case. LOL I felt every single emotion penned in this astutely written work of poetry.
"guide their passage
encourage them to organize, perhaps to smile
but don’t cleanse them of the residue
of all they’ve been through"
That passage sent chills down my spine. Brilliant!
CONGRATULATIONS ON EARNING THE GOLD!
Much Love Always ♥
Renee
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Well i think Carol was right, not enough words for accolades here...simply beautiful...full of truth...PK
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Amazingly beautiful! Definitely for bookmarking ... and so worthy of the Gold! Congratulations!!!
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Oh my this is stunning!
Congrats on your well deserved Gold...
I am bookmarking this to savor later...
Becky
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Thank you so much for the wonderful comment!
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beautiful!!
'nuff said.
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Thank you!
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Oh my goodness...another absolutely powerful language-rich write... Stunning, evocative...there are nto enough words to give as accoulades.
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Thank you so much Carol for the honor of gold and for the wonderful comment!
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woww i really miss reading your works and this is just awesome sweet and true
words that weep i loved your title a lot and ur word choice
great work and good lucks
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Aww, thanks you are so kind!
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