Love is the wind
that cannot be seen
except in how it dances the leaves
and sweeps away debris.
When it is torrid,
it brings a tingling chill
arousing every, single hair
straining to harness it;
and when it is still,
oh, and when it is still,
each soft, almost wisp
reminds me of its presence.
Author notes
http://oldpoetry.com/opoem/10392-Langston-Hughes-Dreams
and this is the theme of this quick contest, a simple metaphor extended to a further message; one that the writer might intend rather than something a reader might find...or even invent.
In a list
A contest entry
- Langston Hughes - quick contest by Peteskid.
1200 points, ended May 5, 2008, 15 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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"Love is the wind
that cannot be seen" .............this is wonderful. I got a nice feeling while reading it. I loved the title and knew I had to read it. Not surprisingly, I was not disappointed. You are masterful at this stuff ten. This piece is excellent; very strong and almost 'in your face' certainty as you're definition unwinds and the metaphors take hold.
AsIThink...
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Beautifully Penned
I love this concept of love being like the wind...because it is. I could feel your words. They're metaphoric and emotional...excellent write...
novy
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I so love that opening line...
Love is the wind that cannot be seen.
Such great use of metaphor from the prompt.
Love that ending as well.
Becky*love -
this is so beautiful..a wonderful love metaphor! Eeek, I used a wind metaphor, too, for this contest..I hope that's ok....best of luck in the contest....
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hey, no worries, it seems Lynda did too! great minds!
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I almost removed my poem when I read yours...thank you...I will keep it in...I thought I was being unique...lmao
...I should pay more attention & read the poems already in the contests before I enter, i suppose..lol.
yikes...it's very similar, though..I swear I did not read yours before I wrote mine!!!lol -
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nope, its so funny, cause i saw Lynda's wind poem right after I posted mine. she had beat me to post by ONE MINUTE , LOL, and so i did NOT copy either!!! too funny. I think your poem was original, as was hers. We each took the wind and went in completely different directions. And its not like any of us are the first to write about the wind, ya know?
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I love the way you know just the perfect place to add a pause... it adds such a musical lull to your poem, and also special emphasis on all the right words.
This is lovely. I am obsessed with trees... and for some reason, this reminded me of kissing my first love beneath the sheltering, pink-blossomed canopy of the weeping cherry at my parent's house.
Thanks for this amazing poem and that wonderful little trip down memory lane.
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Very nicely done! Best of Luck in the contest!
Maureen
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You have succeeded to convey the 'touch' of love. Wind's presence is felt beyond the senses. It was a lovely 'soft' read. Frans
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Delightful metaphor. Touching "[love] sweeps away debris." The kindness of love does that often.
Great description, "arousing every single hair straining to harness [torrid love]."
Beautiful quietude and ear-pricking questing of senses in outstanding last four lines! Lovely write!
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This beautiful love poem captures the conflicting yet harmonious aspects of feeling. True love resonates and fluctuates between passionate moments and tender, quiet ones. Your extended metaphor is spot on. Good luck in this contest. Peace, Liz
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so lighting and touching
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Oh wow, we both wrote about wind lol......
Beautidul poetry here as always with wonderful imagery and metaphor!
Lynda
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Oh my but this is such a beauty! This fills the senses with such stunning o=imagery through your metaphor.
'and when it is still,
oh, and when it is still,
each soft, almost wisp
reminds me of its presence.'
Oh these lines just made me sigh.
Your work, as usual, comes from your soul.
All the best with this
Gaylene
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so very well done here the metaphor to the wind, extended for the senses and sights....feelings it brings...metaphor creates a mood, an air of senses. Thank you for this fine entry into the contest and best of luck in the judging....PK
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