St. Jude: Lost in the abyss

i lay breathless under the sheets
once again your memory
has overcome me
you kneeling bedside
hands clasp tight
who were you praying to?
i wonder if he listened to
your pleas and cries for help
i know he never listened to mine.

i called out for you
"one more day!" i screamed
but you never answered
did you even care?
do you really think
that fifteen years
is enough time to teach me
all that there is to be known?

now, i am nineteen
about to be twenty
and i feel like i am
a lost soul
are you looking for me?

i've missed you everyday
just like i promised
and yet no matter how hard
i try to forget every
little thing about you
it all comes rushing back

your voice haunts my dreams
and your face is blurred out
completely
why can't i see you?

just one last time
is all i ask
where's the hurt in that?