I could lie here forever
watching the remains of this world
drift away
The snow falls like ashes
a season of the living dead
and frozen statues
Carry me from this despair
wash the black tears from my hands
A world covered in white dust
is fading grey to black
as I fall into this dark abyss
with closed doors and locked windows
These thoughts I can not dismiss
all the places I want to be
everything I want to be
lost in a distant memory
I want to be anywhere but here
and close the books
of this apathy
but here
I have reason
my dreams shatter
into tiny peices
like fragile limbs on a winter tree
Ice crystals clinging
Addiction brewing
a soul that is hollow
I hover over this icy pond
staring at laughing eyes
through the ripples I have formed
by my autistic lies
Author notes
I wrote this poem inspired by evanescence song "lithium" from the album, "Open Door". --(also inspired from the music video of this song)
one of my favorite albums. I relate to this song, because i understand that feeling of being in love with your sorrow.
ps. i have edited the last stanza because, as you can see, someone commented that the last stanza didn't seem to fit and i agreed. I hope it does now.
A contest entry
- I Am Ghost and evanescence and now three days grace by lunagirl15.
800 points, ended June 11, 2008, 4 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Write me something Dark by Sock.
450 points, ended May 4, 2008, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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This definitely deserved the shiny trophy it won!
"Lithium" by Evanescence is one of my favorite songs of all time... not only is it incredibly, hauntingly beautiful - but it truly expresses the dual nature of mood disorders (especially bipolar disorder - which lithium has been used for 50 years to treat). It shows how you want to feel better (need to really), but you also don't want to take medications that change your personality. You want to stay in love with yourself as you are (and often sorrow can be such a large part of who you are - or at least it can feel that way once you become attached to it).
I love your take on this... you kind of took it down a slightly different route. It's more about true depression and addiction. In fact, it makes me think... I wonder if Amy Lee wrote "lithium" about Shaun Morgan and his alcoholism. ("Didn't drink enough to see you love me" - wonder if it's written from his point of view?).
I also adore your imagery here. Very haunting, cold, brittle, and empty. Ashes, frozen branches, frozen statues... creepy and cold. Makes me shiver.
Very well done! You are so impressive Catie.
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This is utterly beautiful!!!! Best of luck to you ~Bret~
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The last stanza does flow fairly well, although I don't see how it relates to the rest of the poem.
It is clearly a very emotional write, and I really do like it, but the last stanza, I just don't see the connection.
Good luck
Sock -
i found this poem to be really good thanks for entering and i hope you do well!
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Thats like my favorite song from their album, i love evanescence! I love your 3rd stanza, it flows perfectly, almost like a chant or a spell, enchanting the reader with such emotion! you really know how to put feeling into your work! thats why love your pieces!
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the first two stanzas are my favorites. they actually remind me of a scene in the movie 'The Blood of the Poet' by Jean Cocteau.
It is an old movie, and- in my opinion- rather boring. however, it is surreal and very unique.
those 2 stanzas reminded me so strongly of the scene of children having a snowfight in a courtyard with closed windows and doors, and a statue being destroyed.
the whole movie is indescribable, and though i'm not necessarily suggesting you watch it, i found the parallel uncanny.
the last stanza is the weakest, in my opinion- it doesn't seem a fitting ending for an otherwise fairly strong piece- and the rhyme between memory and apathy in the third stanza seems contrived.
for the most part though, i thought it was well done.
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hastily** spelled wrong...
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Hi...thanx for the comments and opinions...i do have to say that i havent seen that movie...never heard of it, im a youngin'..lol. but i did use the music video of the song "lithium" as insperation. I did write the poem a little hastly and i will go back and take a look at it again...thanx again. i like that you made such a detailed comment
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