It happens every day
Every single day
And yet you never know
Never really know
Until it happens to you.
You can try to imagine
The feeling
As you watch her slowly disintegrate
Before your eleven year old eyes
From being a strong, healthy woman
Loving, caring, beautiful
To a shell of what she used to be
Weak, sick, distorted.
You watch, just observe
As the disease eats at her body
Creeping over every curve of her
Until you're living with a stranger.
And you have no right to complain
Because, no, she was not raped
And no, she was not murdered.
You have time to prepare
But it doesn't make it any better
When you watch her talk about her newly bald head
And hear her ask why God did this to her
And you don't know how to answer
Because you are only eleven
What are you supposed to say?
She wonders why she's ugly
And why her shoes no longer fit
Because they have swelled to twice their size
She keeps asking you to tell her how you really feel
But you know you'll just sound whiny
When truly you have nothing to complain about.
Then there are the accidents.
When she becomes too weak to hold herself up
And she falls down the stairs
And out of her seat at the kitchen table
You hear her calling your name from her room
Your young heart beating desperately
Wondering if she seriously hurt herself this time.
Then the big day comes.
The one she warned you about
But nothing can prepare you for it.
She can't breathe anymore
And as the stretcher takes her away
You wonder when you'll see her again.
The hospital.
Looming and dark
Beautiful and mysterious
Where life and death thrive side by side.
You play with your friends
And see if you can beat the old man down the hall to the t.v. room
So you can watch your favourite show
Instead of baseball
And you try not to think about who is lying right down the hall.
And later
After the last rights
As you hold her hand
And she tells you goodbye
You don't expect it
The next morning
When your dad sits you down
And starts to cry.
You have never seen anything until you've seen your father cry.
And even when your relatives hug you
And everyone tells you how sorry they are
You still can't cry.
And now, years later
You still look death in the face.
He peers around every corner
Laughing as you try as hard as you can not to look back
Not to feel sorry that this happened to you
Because you have nothing to cry about, do you?
Author notes
Summerhasgone
A contest entry
- A Whole Lot Of Options by reckless abandon.
450 points, ended May 9, 2008, 19 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - truth and dare (ie poetry is so much more than just poetic devices) by Dienush.
600 points, ended May 18, 2008, 30 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 10 options for the creative poet (3) by bananasfoster42.
700 points, ended June 17, 2008, 34 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Emotion! Please Come Have A Look by Xxpoison.kissesxX.
1600 points, ended May 8, 62 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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That is freaking sad. i have seen my father cry... but i made him cry and thats a different story... but anyways... outstanding write! beautiful
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wow.this is an amazing poem. it's filled with so much emotion. and i'm sorry if you had to endure this. thanks for the entry!
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Feeling sorry for yourself? Never!! I'm a grown woman and still every now and again I cry with a flood gate of tears for missing my Mom and Dad. We are never prepared for death, no matter how it comes. Whether by illness or accident, it is equally painful. We are never truly prepared. Congratulations on your silver, you've truly written a deeply emotive and touching poem.
~Michelle~
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thank you very much
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I am in tears -
No, it doesn't sound self-pitying at all, it's very touching and beautiful. Thank you for sharing.
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i like it, and i didn't take it that way. i thought your memories were more of the sickness, sad memories, instead of memories of the good times with your mom, the happy memories. was it supposed to be like that?
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wow
thats awesome but it sounds like you don't want anyone to feel sorry for you and I don't but I will still pray for you. your friend,star
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This doesn't sound as if you want anyone to feel sorry for you at all, it just sounds sad. I think you've put your thoughts into this poem in a great way. Sometimes it's hard to write about someone dying. Thanks for entering and very well done.
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thank you
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awwwwww
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