EARTH TOO HAS ITS MOLTEN CORE
He touched me
and fire leaped between us
and in a raging inferno of wants and needs
he takes me.
I wanted to respond
truly I did
however it all happened so suddenly.
It was so overwhelming to me.
So beyond what I had expected.
His eyes, at first looking at me in wonderment
then suddenly flashing in fear
so like a trapped animal
with no where to go.
He said my name
once
so softly I could barely hear it.
The pain in his voice spoke volumes to me.
His eyes guarded at first then slowly revealed to me
his intense sorrow.
His heart bleeding…
his intense fear…
When I saw him this way
in such pain
it set me free.
I smiled at him
a tear trickling down my cheek
and he just stood there
slowly shaking his head back and forth
no he silently whispered
panic exploding within me.
He would leave me now…
leave me and die
so I reached out to him
demanding that he stay
and love with me.
It was then that I realized
that not all fires are born of the desert
some are of the earth as well
for Earth too has a molten core.
Author notes
This was just printed in the fanzine Legends #5
In a list
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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This piece was so sensual and so alive with feeling. It actually showed images of two souls who were both a little afraid of consenting to one another in friendship and love. Two souls who though their passion was fiery, were worried and fearful. This actually reminded me of the film 'lady hawk'. Although it doesn't deal with their kind of lost love, it did touch on the fear of not being together. I loved this. This was your second one on your page and a marvelous one at that. I am glad i came all the way back here to read as it was worth every minute. Bookmarked!
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Oh wow! This again, was a brilliant write! I loved the title as well
Well done!
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This work has 204 words in it. On a first sweep through, I was able to edit it down to 174. If you get a chance, copy the two versions side by side and see how to trim some fat off your poems. Conciseness is highly praised in the literary circles. Here's my version which doesn't change your wording aside from an occasional tense and an extra line space or ellipsis here or there:
-----------------------------------
Barely touching
fires leaping between us
a raging inferno of wants, needs...
he took me.
Wanting to respond,
it all happened so suddenly,
overwhelming me,
so beyond what I had expected.
His eyes,
looking at me in wonderment
suddenly flashing to fear
like a trapped animal
with nowhere to go.
He said my name
once
so softly I could barely hear it.
The pain in his voice spoke volumes.
His eyes guarded at first slowly revealed to me
intense sorrow…
a heart bleeding…
his intense fear…
When I saw him this way
in such pain
it set me free.
I smiled at him
a tear trickling down my cheek
and he stood there
slowly shaking his head back and forth
silently whispering
panic exploding within me.
He would leave me now…
leave me and die,
so I reached out to him
demanding that he stay
and love with me.
It was then I realized
not all fires are born of the desert
some are of the earth
for earth too, has a molten core.
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your comment on my poem EARTH TOO HAS ITS MOLTEN CORE
Hey thanks a romance novel huh. Wow! I love it.
Hugs,
trekkergirl -
Deep!
This looks like something out of a romance novel. Great work here.
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I really loved the verse "when I saw him this way in such pain it set me free". I think nobody wants to show thier true feelings until they know it is 'safe' and this relays that very well. The imagery used here makes me able to actually 'see' what you are saying. Great poem!
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your comments on my poem Earth has its molten core too
Thank you for your wonderful comments on my poem. Yes, it is about feeling safe in a relationship. I meant it to feel along the lines of the Fiery passion just doesn't come from one person but from both. I'm glad that you were able to see this.
Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts.
Hugs
trekkergirl
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