Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

psychosis

I loved the perfect world you formed around me, replacing everything
everything was bright and active and happy
and it was like my favorite television show
all over and all over and all over again
over and over and over
just like being shot in the face with your favorite feelings
just like messing everything up
messing my whole life up
rearranging it into some beautiful pieces I don't understand
and I can't walk as well but you always catch me
and I fall over and over and over
hung from the top of merrimack college in north andover MA, it's as if I tried that hard every day
and you made this perfect world that no one can touch
and it was always like my favorite television show
she takes my head and makes sure it doesn't go too fast
hold it down and do that thing you do with your hands
all over me all over me just like when I jumped off the edge so you'd run up and catch my hand
you make me so happy

that big wall we painted pretty designs on
all the colors are starting to run
we put it on way too thick
and the faster I try to paint them back on the worse it gets

even though we're going to die soon I'm smiling like an idiot

How much of this is psychotic and how much of it makes sense, if any?

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

  • Shadow Darkstar
    April 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Wow.
    What a way to ook at love.

    It's different, I like it.
    A lot of it makes sense, although you seem to have doubled a few lines right after each other.
    Might want to re-read it yourself unless it's supposed to be like that?

    Nice write.


    • luckysunday
      April 28, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      It actually was intentional, meant to emphasize the narrator's disorderly thinking. You're right, though, it doesn't look quite right when it's written, so I'll remove it. Thank you.