Trying so hard
To take the pain away
But no matter what i do
It just seems to stay
Trying to hold on
But everything keeps going wrong
Don't know what to do
Wish i had a clue
Got to fix my fate
Before its way to late
Author notes
4/9/06
Comments
-
I know it's old, and perhaps you won't see this, but I like the theme of the poem. However, the rhyme feels really forced and average; you might want to pay attention to metre and select words & rhymes that aren't as predictable as away/stay, do/clue, fate/late, etc.
-Cristina -
*hugs* good poem!!!


