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Fate

Trying so hard
To take the pain away
But no matter what i do
It just seems to stay
Trying to hold on
But everything keeps going wrong
Don't know what to do
Wish i had a clue
Got to fix my fate
Before its way to late

Author notes

4/9/06

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Comments


  • aeolia
    June 3, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I know it's old, and perhaps you won't see this, but I like the theme of the poem. However, the rhyme feels really forced and average; you might want to pay attention to metre and select words & rhymes that aren't as predictable as away/stay, do/clue, fate/late, etc.

    -Cristina


  • Broken Machine
    April 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    *hugs* good poem!!!