She stands serenely, barely moving
(on the wooden ledge)
Oblivious to pain, the quiet downpour soothing
(too close to the edge)
While her tears flow gently
(they feel so hot)
Down her pale face, she waits expectantly
(making the ledge rot)
Alone in a world of souls
(can't they hear her cries?)
Behind her, scattered, accomplished goals
(hope's falling from jaded eyes)
Nothing is worth the price paid
(but then, it seemed so right)
What she is now, she made
(back then she knew how to fight)
Perfection is all around
(so glorious, so grand)
She's flying high above the ground
(no one there to hold her hand)
Just don't look to closely at her soul
(shards held together by celotape)
Merely a pretence of being whole
(she made this prison, there's no escape)
A contest entry
- Give me your best non-trophy. by lilblueeyesmine1978.
425 points, ended May 8, 2008, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Almost anything goes! by EmeraldDaze.
425 points, ended June 8, 2008, 74 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrite Craze Contest by BlackSwan.
550 points, ended June 29, 2008, 84 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Well done!
I love the form you utilized! This is such a dark review of a life lived in a rush to get to tomorrow. Wonderful rhyme scheme, spot on! I noticed no half or partial rhymes, nice. I know what 'celotape' is but have never actually seen someone use it! Nice cultural difference brought to light. This is simply written with no extraneous phrases, very concise and neat. Keep your pen to the page and thanks for sharing!
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oO
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oh, crap! I'll have to come up with an emoticon for Nodens, eh? hmmmmm. -
Poignant. A despairing soul who has simply given up. I like the even tone of this poem, sad without melodrama. It just feels very true.
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This poem is so lyrical, wonderful rhyme scheme
Very good write, magnificent
-GL in contest -
This was so sad. I enjoyed how it was sort of a poem within a poem
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this is soo powerful. I really enjoyed reading it. There are so many times that we feel helpless about life. It is sad to reach these limits though.
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