You won't let me in to help you fight.
Or let me in to show you the light.
Untie your heart and let me through so I can save you.
Rather then suffer alone let me hold you and take it as my own.
Please let me keep you from crying alone.
All I want to do is take your tears away.
I just want to see that smile from the old days.
Now let me in so I can save you from the pain that wails inside you.
A contest entry
- Writing, Love, Nature, or something else! (in other words, OPTIONS & points!) by Chocoholic156.
790 points, ended May 29, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Love by Ethereal Bard.
316 points, ended May 25, 2008, 10 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
i didnt have much time to write it hope its good =)
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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which of my poems did u choose?
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Please put your option number (5) and your username in the author notes. That is only to make sure you aren't entering too many times and that you just follow the rules.
I love the sweetness in the poem. You seem to have a deep desire to help this person and that, i think, is what love is about. I really like this. I think that the second line,
Or let me in to show you the light.
Could be rewritten, but otherwise I really like it. Thank you for entering in my contest. -
Great work, flows smoothly and is very strong. Though provoking and honest. A great write indeed, keep up the good work my friend.
"Now let me in so I can save you from the pain that wails inside you."
A great ending for a great piece.
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awww this is sooo sweeet good job!!! -Gore
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Good
Good work my friend. It flows nicely. Keep up the great work
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i love it
i love it so much this is exactly how i feel about this guy right this second wow it rocks
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