the sun set for me and i'm forever jailed
caught in one moment forever enclosed
fear draws near and i'm just terrified
i'm caught up in a trance of nothingness
i'm in the middle of a contradiction
the contradiction of etirnity
where is my future that looked so promising?
where is my dreams so bleek?
i laugh at fate and tortured minds
so much like my own
i once had all i wished for
all of that can change
in a fraction of a seccond
a life just disappears
and forever a soul is trapped
without a chance of escape
A contest entry
- Escape From The Afterlife! by brightXdarkness.
600 points, ended June 20, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Largest Contest On AP!!!! by Midnight-x-Rose.
3000 points, ended August 26, 2146 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
-
Hm. I like this take on the prompt. It is more of a thought provoking poem rather than a deep imagery-like poem. But the thinking was definitely the best for this poem. I am still thinking about it and thinking about how life could just disappear in that fraction of a second. It's scary... thinking about the soul being trapped, but I like it. Thank you for entering my contest, and best of luck!!
Alex -
That was a very good piece you wrote! I love the tragedy of it all, how we have so much confidence in our lives but it can all disappear in a second. I really like what you did with the prompt. I would correct some aspects of the poem though, looking at the grammar of some of the lines might improve the quality of it. Otherwise it was a great write! Good luck in the contest!
Sincerely,
ModernXTimes -
this was great. you've got a true talent!!
-
My
How we can never be the judge of our own lifetime. Yet we think it shall never be us. To wonder whar death is. well I think mosy would regess from such a thought. I do like your style
-
holy crap this is intense. i absolutely loved readiong it. short, but not too short. but yet, in this short poem, you say so much! amazing
-
not beig able to see the sun is a cruel fate,
one im glad i do not have, keep writing,
you are a talented woman, blessed be,
Elektra xxx
-
I love your style! Death is a great subject; it will always be dark and misterious. There is a poet that writes like this on allpoetry. I read his work the other night. His name is Jon. Check him out.
Amy -
'in a fraction of a seccond
a life just disappears
and forever a soul is trapped
without a chance of escape'
That part above is so true. I love all of this piece but the ending really caught my eye here. All it takes is a fraction of a second for your life to be changed for all time sometimes. Indeed a soul is trapped with little chance of escaping its fate.
The darkness seeps through this piece in every line This piece is a contradiction too. With the beautiful setting sun, you are forever jailed. The fear draws near as darkness sets in.
And with the darkness the doubts. You see no future, a future that looked so promising before now is brought down to nonthingness.
Keep writing. This was very good. I like your writing.
Love
Wayne Leon
x
Adding your comment:
1 - 8 of 8
