You took my breath and stole my heart.
showed me love I'd never known.
said you never wanted us to part
let me see what I had missed.
You touched the corners of my heart,
dark and full of spiders.
My tall stone walls were ripped apart,
all my fears you crumbled.
I trusted you to speak the truth
to me be ever loyal.
Your actions would never be uncouth
a portrait of perfection.
You spoke of poems, songs, and prayers
I knew I'd found the one.
You'd never make promises and swears
you didn't plan to keep.
Time came and went and my visit ended.
we said our last goodbyes.
I realized that on you I depended
as you gave me one last kiss.
But it didn't take long to discover...
The words, the writings, the songs, the prayers,
the warmth and key to your heart,
belonged not to me but rather were hers.
My darkness came undone.
Crystal Kerr
04~27~08
Author notes
My first love.
A contest entry
- What's The Story Behind The Tears :: Picture Prompt by Xox ILY xoX.
525 points, ended April 30, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dalaney Contest 6 The Wall by Sue Cardwell.
650 points, ended July 24, 2008, 8 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
Thank you for your very interesting entry in our contest, we're not too sure about your rhyme scheme, rhyming the first and third lines but not the second and fourth, for us it really doesn't work. A good attempt, please enter again in our future contests as we would like to see more from you.
All the best...Sue and Jeff
-
I'm not sure if this is where it led to, but it sounds as if pretty much everyone goes through something like this. Even though, it might not always end in such a way. We all have first loves and they don't always tend to 'keep'. It was a very precious piece that you penned and it took me back to what I considered my first love. But, it also made me appreciate the love I have right now. Thank you for entering and delivering these memories to me and sharing with me your own, although they weren't all that great. In the end, you've probably had more loves and possibly found the one. My favorite part was the 4th stanza, because of the last 2 lines. I look for that where I go all the time, but I don't always get it. The important thing, I think, would be the effort they would make to keep those promises rather than keeping them 100 %. Because maybe, for some reason, they couldn't keep it as they planned although they tried. But, all-in-all, this was amazing. Good luck in the contest.
-
This is a piece to portray the love..and life together..I can relate with it..a wonderful piece to reveal the story of this life..well done.,..
Adding your comment:
